


It's a Long Low Road

by Melodious329



Series: Journey [2]
Category: The Losers (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 10:41:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21619570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melodious329/pseuds/Melodious329
Summary: (Pre-Losers movie fusion with the tv show Dark Angel)  Now that Jensen is part of the team, there are lots of issues to work out.  Clay doesn't know when he became a glorified babysitter.  Roque wants this teenage drama over.  Pooch doesn't understand why no one else is as worried about this.  Cougar wants to reclaim his anonymity.  And Jensen, Jensen just wants to survive in this great big world.
Relationships: Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez/Jake Jensen
Series: Journey [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558111
Comments: 14
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is fully written. I've just been lazy about editing. I've read the first part a million times so I needed to post it so I could concentrate on the rest.

Clay sits in his car outside of the apartment building, the former home of the real Jacob Jensen. He still isn’t sure he’d made the right decision, keeping this human experiment on the team. Despite looking completely harmless, Jensen could do a helluva lot of damage amongst civilians. Course the same could be said of Roque, or really any of them on Special Forces. And there is something to be said for keeping him close, unlike the who-knew-how-many who escaped to who-knew-where. 

Shifting in his seat, Clay rubs the bridge of his nose. No, what Clay really doesn’t understand is how he had become the glorified babysitter. He’s often joked about being a babysitter since becoming Lt Colonel, but now it’s quite literal. 

The morning after rescuing the...transgenic, Clay laid down the rules. First, Jensen would obey Clay or any of the Losers, or Clay wouldn’t hesitate to throw him out or worse. Second, Jensen would not tell anyone about this mess. And that included “no freaky shit” as Roque interjected. Third, and lastly, Jensen would not keep secrets, like trying to kill them. If he’s contacted by this Manticore or any of the transgenics, he will tell one of them. 

He scowls to himself as Jensen finally appears on the sidewalk with two duffel bags. It’s hard to remember the other man is a cold-blooded killer when he looks like a kid being dropped off at summer camp. Clay lets out a big gusty sigh as the lanky form gets into the passenger seat, sinking down as if trying to be unnoticeable. 

“Let’s get on with it,” Clay grumbles as he puts the car into gear. 

Clay lives in a normal suburban house in a very normal subdivision close to the base. It’s decorated in a variety of styles showcasing his last couple of girlfriends. None of them stuck around long enough to finish the whole house. He shows Jensen to the guest bedroom that is decorated in a variety of shades of purple. 

“Why don’t you take a shower,” Clay suggests, pointing towards the bathroom. 

Jensen looks greasy from sweating during his sickness, or fit or whatever it was. That mess seems like more than a little design flaw. Fortunately, now they have some pills so they don’t have to cart goat’s milk everywhere. Leaving the kid and his duffels, Clay returns to the kitchen. Absently, he pulls open the refrigerator, unsurprised that there’s nothing, not even beer inside. Still the cold air feels nice as he leans down a moment. 

He doesn’t get a minute to enjoy it before he hears the sound of bare feet on the hardwood floor behind him. Despairing of ever having a moment to himself again, he turns around, only to turn back again with a cry at the sight that greets him. 

“Why are you naked?” Clay growls at the refrigerator. He can hear the sound of wet feet shuffling anxiously on the floor. 

“I...you didn’t say,” Jensen stutters. Like Clay has to tell him every little thing. “And I thought...you’d search me and my things first.”

“No,” Clays huffs in annoyance. He already has to watch this kid 24 hours a day, he’s certainly not going to do a body cavity search every time the kid takes a shower. 

“Look, you get dressed, wear whatever you want. I’ll be back.” Clay doesn’t wait for a response before he’s out the door and back in his car, making a hasty trip to the nearest liquor store. He grabs two six packs just to be sure, and wishes for something stronger. But he doesn’t linger, heading back home immediately, if only so he can crack open a bottle immediately. 

But as soon as he’s home, Jensen is there. Like a dog awaiting his master’s command, Jensen appears as soon as he opens the door and follows him through the house. Those blue eyes watch him expectantly, desperate for whatever scrap of attention Clay might bestow on him. It makes the military man sick, the whole rotten thing does. But it’s too big for him to wrap his head around. It’s too much responsibility. 

Annoyed, Clay puts the six packs inside the fridge. “None for you,” he says as he strides toward the couch, confident his shadow will follow. With a hand, Clay pushes the kid to sit and tosses the remote in his lap.

“Watch tv,” he growls, desperate for the distraction. 

As he plops himself in his recliner, the tv doesn’t turn on. Instead, Jensen seems to be fiddling with the back, trying to take the thing apart. 

“Hey, no!” Clay scolds, holding his hands up in a gesture that he’s ready to catch the remote. 

After a moment of confusion, Jensen tosses it over and Clay turns the tv on. “Just watch the tv. Anything you want,” he adds since everything needs to be spelled out. 

He tosses the remote back and gets up to get another beer. While he’s in the kitchen, he figures he should call in an order for dinner. Rifling through his stack of takeout menus, he knows better than to ask the other man what he wants. Chinese is safe since they’ve had it before. Though, Clay hopes that all the grease won’t give Jensen the shits. God knows what they were fed in that place. 

Clay reaches for the phone, continuing his day long mission not to think about what he saw in that place. After placing a large order, he goes back to his chair with his new beer. Jensen is busily flipping through the too many channels. That’s a lot more annoying when someone else does it, he thinks, frowning as some soap opera type show becomes a courtroom drama becomes some show about cars. This is why he lives alone. 

He prepares himself to put up with it, at least for tonight. Jensen doesn’t take his eyes off the tv again until dinner arrives, and then he’s like an excited puppy with a treat. Then the channel changing slows and they watch at least half of a few shows. It’s been a long few days though and Clay is eager to get to his bed now he’s home. 

“Alright, I’m to bed,” he says, standing and collecting his empties. The light from the tv is bright on Jensen’s eager face. 

Jensen stands up too, though obviously reluctant to leave the tv. Clay sighs, “You can stay and watch but don’t stay up all night. You’ve got work tomorrow.”

The kid looks confused but he slowly lowers himself back to the couch. He looks like he thinks this is some kind of trap but is clearly too afraid to ask questions. 

“Goodnight,” Clay says with finality. 

He can’t say what wakes him just before dawn. Maybe he’s just not used to having someone else in his home, but he can’t hear Jensen moving around in his hyperactive way. His curiosity forces him out of bed anyway, just knowing that his guest isn’t sleeping either. In fact, Jensen is on the couch, just where Clay left him. 

Clay rubs a hand over his stubble and growls out harshly in his sleep-roughened voice. “I told you to get some sleep.” It seems amazing how Jensen can looks so small, can hunch his six foot frame so he seems more like the size of a six year old. 

“I-I d-did,” Jensen stutters out. “I went to sleep at midnight and I stayed there until five, b-but I…”

“You stayed there til five?” Clay asks, confused at the wording. “You weren’t sleeping?”

“I don’t need five hours of sleep. B-but I can pretend, if you want. I c-could…”

“Why don’t you need sleep?” Clay can’t stop himself asking even if he thinks that he doesn’t really want to know the answer. 

“They said it was shark DNA,” Jensen explains. Something must show on Clay’s face as Jensen looks more terrified as he rushes to explain, “Just a little, just...it’s not much. They made that mistake with the first trials.”

Clay raises his hands to stop the explanation. “Fine, you don’t have to sleep all night.”

Jensen nods eagerly, but asks, “So you’re not kicking me out?”

Clay sighs and turns toward the kitchen. “Not for that.” He sets about making his morning coffee as the first rays of the sun flood the room. There’s nothing for breakfast, but he needs caffeine. Then he shivers at the thought of Jensen on caffeine. 

Then he thinks of something else. “Just don’t leave the apartment at night or without telling me,” he orders turning back to his erstwhile charge. 

“Of course,” Jensen agrees quickly. “And I would never tamper with cameras or alarms to fool you.”

Clay frowns again, wishing he had his coffee before this conversation. It is too early for this shit. “There aren’t any cameras here. And there won’t be. Look, Jensen, you’re a shark mutant. I’m sure you could slip past me if you wanted, so I am going to have to trust you until you give me a reason not to.”

“Really?” Jensen asks, disbelief on his features. And something like amazement again.

“Yeah, Clay says, turning back to the counter before he calls Jensen “kid” to his face. Then he yanks open a drawer as he remembers hiding a Snickers bar in there. “Here,” he says, tossing it over. “Breakfast. You can go back to watching tv for awhile.”

He doesn’t watch Jensen go back to the couch as he’s busy glaring at the dripping coffee. But he clearly hears Jensen’s shriek of delight at trying his new snack. 

“Is this candy?! I read about it but I never thought it would be so  _ good _ ,” Jensen trails off into obscene noises. 

Clay has to smile, even though he doesn’t want to. 

*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*

The trip to base is easy and quiet. It’s clear now that Jensen is afraid to step one toe out of line which Clay is too grateful to argue against. It may actually be easier to control Jensen than the rest of his team. He’s wondering about the possibility of mutiny as he steps into their common room and looks around at the other Losers. Roque is reading some kinda files, but he acknowledges Clay’s significant look and comes closer. Clay turns to the wall to speak, though Roque stays facing the others, unsubtly watching Jensen sit down at the table. 

“He doesn’t even sleep,” Clay starts, folding his arms over his chest. “Something about being part shark.”

Roque’s face settles into a contemplative look. “Really? That’s useful.”

Clay rolls his eyes and turns away from his longtime friend. His eyes land on Cougar who is sitting at the table, conspicuously not reacting to anything.

Cougar can feel the eyes of the others’ on him and he fights the urge to tip his hat lower. He doesn’t want to show his discomfort at being the center of their attention. That would only encourage them. This is why he’s never told them about his predilections. He doesn’t want them to associate every thing he does with being gay. He doesn’t want them to watch his interactions with Jensen, or any man, and think that it’s because they’re fucking. He knows it’s a short jump between that and thinking that he’s looking at  _ them _ . 

“Cougar!” Jensen cries, as if completely unaware of any tension between them. “Clay gave me a Snickers bar! It’s soo good! Have you had one?”

With enthusiasm, Jensen takes a Snickers bar out of his pocket, plastic carefully wrapped over where he’d presumably taken a bite. 

Taken off guard, the sniper takes a minute to gather his voice, then says clearly, “No, thank you.” He doesn’t want to encourage Jensen’s attention. All alone last night, it was easy to remember all the reasons that he doesn’t have relationships, much less that this relationship would be exceptionally complicated. 

“Really, it’s amazing,” Jensen cajoles. “I want you to have it. C’mon, try it.”

It takes a moment for Cougar to realize what Jensen is really offering. It’s not about the fact that Jensen is offering a half-eaten candy bar, like he’s some kind of homeless waif from a Broadway play. It’s that Jensen’s didn’t just gobble up the treat immediately. After a lifetime of deprivation, his first thought is to share, to share with  _ Cougar _ . 

The silence has dragged on long enough that even Jensen’s smile dims as he realizes that something is wrong. But the sniper takes pity and slowly extends a hand for the bar. Jensen hands it over with a smile like the awkwardness never happened. He just stares at Cougar with anticipation as small precise fingers carefully unwrap the candy. 

“It’s good,” Cougar tells him. 

“I knew you’d like it,” Jensen crows. “Candy! It’s so good, right?!”

Cougar only nods a little in acknowledgment. He is aware again of how the three other men have been watching the scene. They’ve all just been uncomfortably reminded of what Jensen is, a lab grown experiment whose childhood was so desolate that he’d never had candy before. But he doesn’t want to give in, to his own desire to fill that giant need in the man. But it’s harder to keep his resolve with the man right in front of him. Unable to think of what else to do, Cougar gets up from the table and leaves the room, taking the candy with him. 

Roque turns away as the door shuts, leaning to Clay’s ear. “You have to do something about that crush, though.”

“Right,” Clay starts sarcastically. “But don’t make him too upset or he’ll turn on us. I’ll get right on making him happy all the time.”

But his SIC is already walking away from him. Then Pooch scrambles to stand up himself, wanting to get out while the getting is good. Clay lets out a big gusty breath as he realizes that he’s alone with their new team member, and veritably stalks over to the table.

Taking a seat on one side of the tech equipment, he starts talking awkwardly. “So the transfer should be through soon. What else could give you away? And why are you still wearing Jensen’s glasses?”

The Lt Colonel has to wonder about a spy so fair-skinned he blushes this easily. “I had two pairs for the mission…” Jensen stutters.

“Can’t you just...hack the medical file,” Clay flops his hand at the computer, “say you had lasik.”

“Well, I don’t know; I could, but I kinda like them. The yellow tint are actually nice for looking at coding,” Jensen says. 

“Fine,” Clay interrupts just to get the kid to shut up. “What do your med records say? You did change them, right?”

“I di-id change them,” Jensen draws out the words, clearly hesitant to talk about the murder he committed. 

“But,” Clay grits out, feeling like he’s dealing with a petulant toddler who doesn’t want to get in trouble. 

“But I’m not...human,” Jensen finally answers, voice soft and embarrassed. “I’d pass a routine check-up, but bloodwork…”

“So we need to keep you out of medical,” Clay interprets. With a sigh, he runs a hand over his face as he sits back in the chair. Keeping this mutant already seems to be more trouble than it’s worth. “Anything else we should know about? Can they track you through this,” he gestures at the laptop. “Through your hacking?” 

Some of Jensen’s cockiness reappears in a smirk. “No more than anyone else can. Once they see the results, they might assume it’s a transgenic…”

“Can you all do this?” Clay asks in sudden horror. 

“Oh, uh, not exactly,” Jensen answers, dropping his eyes to his fidgeting hands. “They knew it was a risk. You can’t exactly teach someone to hack safety, though I learned in created environments. They wouldn’t let us on the internet after the escape.”

“What?” Clay shouts. “You mean before the one the other day?” Then suddenly Clay is moving away from the table, his hands raised as if Jensen is attacking him. “No, nevermind. I don’t want to think about what the rest of these  _ things _ are doing out there.”

Clay is already across the room, heading for the door, when he yells back. “Just...stay in this room.”

Jensen stays still and quiet as he watches the man leave the room. Leaving him alone. He’s not sure what’s just happened, but it feels almost like a punishment. And it hurts. He must have done something wrong, but he’s not sure how to fix it. Having spent a lifetime wanting to be with people, he doesn’t know what to do when people don’t actually want to be with him. No, all he has to do is be good, normal so that they won’t abandon him, or send him back somehow, turn him over to the government. 

His stomach grumbles. It’s lunch time and even a whole candy bar wouldn’t be enough calories for his physique. But hunger is a feeling that he’s very familiar with. Manticore made sure that their soldiers wouldn’t be hampered by something so trivial. Their first concern was always for Tryptophan. 

To distract himself, he thinks of the tv that he watched last night. There were so many different programs! Actually, he could probably learn how to act from watching it. One program showed a man and a woman in bed together, just like him and Cougar. The couple weren’t having sex, but just lying together and talking like when he was sick. Jensen hopes that will happen again. It felt better than anything had ever felt before and he can’t describe the yearning he feels to have it again. Rubbing his chest absentmindedly, he opens the website browser and slowly disappears down an internet rabbit hole of information. 


	2. Chapter 2

When Clay comes back into their quarters, Jensen is sitting in exactly the same place as when he left. While it’s possibly just a coincidence, he has a feeling that Jensen stayed right there the whole time he was gone. But he’s too afraid to ask. He despises having to watch his every word around this kid. 

“Get your stuff,” he orders the mutant, wanting to be ready by the time that the others get here. Jensen always takes so long to pack up his mess of technology. 

And, speak of the devil, Roque bursts in with a slam of the door. He’s followed by Pooch. Cougar, however, doesn’t show up until the very last second, coming in as Jensen is hefting his bag of his gear over his shoulder. Clay resists the urge to roll his eyes as he walks out the door. He can’t handle this teenage drama. 

The actual trip is heavier with anticipation than usual, and silent. But it’s a loaded silence. It’s not that they normally chat a lot on the plane or anything, but this is different. Jensen is sitting stiffly in his bucket seat like he’s in primary school while stealing glances at Cougar every five seconds. And Clay isn’t the only one who’s noticed this. Pooch is glaring at the transgenic like he’s been personally offended. That’s another problem that Clay will have to keep his eye on. Personally, he thinks that Jensen being a spy is the least of what worries him, but to each their own. Roque and Cougar are distinctly ignoring the whole thing. 

By the time that they land and are making their way to their assigned quarters on base, they’re all tired and on edge, and Pooch is over biting his lip to keep the words inside. It’s not that he doesn’t feel bad for the guy, what they saw in that place was horrifying. But Pooch has plans for his life, plans with Jolene. He doesn’t want to die for pity. And the guy does look pitiful as they enter their quarters. Glumly, he watches Jensen fiddle silently with his tech stuff on the table. Jensen is hunched down, broad shoulders folded like bony wings. As blue eyes look pitifully up at their sniper  _ again _ , he just can’t take it. It makes Pooch angry. He actually liked the talkative Jensen from before but it was all a lie. He hates feeling like a fool. 

“So the motormouth from before was just an act?”Pooch accuses, suddenly breaking the silence. 

Jensen looks up but doesn’t straighten his posture. His eyebrows scrunch in confusion, almost meeting, and he lifts his hand to his mouth like he’s unsure what’s in there. “Motormouth?”

“Yeah, talking all the time. You before we knew what you are,” Pooch explains shortly. 

Jensen makes the tiniest of shrugs but stops probing his own mouth. “Figured you didn’t want to hear me. I liked it, getting to talk. I…” It seems he forcibly stops himself and refocuses on his hands. The appendages seem entirely too big for the work. 

Cougar speaks up, because he wants to make one thing very clear to Jensen. “We are not your masters.”

Light returns to Jensen’s blue eyes and his mouth starts to move immediately. “Well, I was just reading…”

“Right,” Clay interrupts before that mouth can really get going. “You’re rooming with Cougar then,” he announces since the sniper was so eager to hear that voice again. Cougar is about the only person he can trust with the transgenic. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he says as he enters through the door of his room. 

Jensen looks like he’s won the lottery as he picks up his laptop and backpack and goes in through a second doorway. That leaves Cougar with Roque and Pooch who both look pissed at him. Roque outright glares at him as he leaves the room, but Pooch averts his eyes, unable to look at him. Their judgment is the last thing that Cougar wants. His abilities as a sniper should be the only thing that matters to these men. 

He considers sleeping out here in the common area or not sleeping at all, but for two reasons. Firstly, he won’t allow this situation to humiliate him like that and, secondly, because he does actually care for the crazy transgenic. He doesn’t want Jensen to stop living and loving his freedom after all the things that have been done to him. So he sucks it up and heads into the bedroom. 

And stops dead just inside the doorway. Jensen has stripped off and, if those scientists did nothing else, they certainly created a beautiful man. Especially since Jensen has taken off the glasses and his hair has grown a bit from that short buzzcut. Cougar doesn’t even move as Jensen sinks to his knees in front of him, unwilling to encourage this but unable to refuse it. He looks down, seeing the long fringe of Jensen’s eyelashes resting on pale cheeks, those long fingers already undoing his pants. Jensen leans in, and he watches the muscles of Jensen’s shoulders and traps shift under the pale skin. 

It was good the first time and now Jensen is taking his time, licking up and down his shaft and tonguing his slit. When finally taking Cougar’s cock in his mouth, he simply sinks down to the root, slow and controlled. Breath shuddering out of his mouth, Cougar strokes one hand over the fine fuzz at the back of the blonde’s head. It’s like the man doesn’t need to breathe as his throat squeezes the head of Cougar’s dick. And then Cougar realizes that Jensen probably doesn’t need to breathe and he chokes while trying to laugh and moan at the same time. 

Jensen is working him hard, pulling off to suck at the tip before diving back down. It takes no time at all for Cougar to cum, tensing his abs and shuddering head to toe. Head tipped back to stare at the ceiling, he feels Jensen’s hands kneading his thighs, breath still fanning out on his dick. He looks down as Jensen finally sits on his heels and that’s when he notices that Jensen came on his pants which are still around his ankles. The other man is sheepish as he wipes his bright red lips, but Cougar is too annoyed. He won’t let the others see cum on his pants and he didn’t bring a second pair. 

Feeling foolish and humiliated, Cougar pulls his pants back up and stalks out toward the bathroom. Jensen watches him go and feels sheepish. He didn’t mean to make a mess, but it happened so quickly. But he’s confused because Cougar didn’t yell at him. Is Cougar mad at him? He’s not sure. Standing, he wonders if he should push the beds together. They didn’t sleep together last time that they had sex. Will they only cuddle after Jensen is injured? What about if Cougar is injured? The thought is like ice in his veins. He’ll do everything that he can that that won’t happen. 

In the end, he’s still standing naked in the middle of the room when Cougar comes back in with his pant leg wet. Cougar doesn’t look at him as he strips and climbs into one of the beds still pushed against the wall. Saddened, Jensen climbs into the other bed for a restless night. All those nights in his cot at Manticore, he comforted himself with dreams and now the dream is breathing gently in sleep just a few feet away. Now there is nothing to comfort himself with. 

*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&

They end up having to trek miles through the jungle after leaving the Hummer behind. Jensen has been in a more chatty mood, but Roque’s mood has disintegrated with every glance that Jensen shoots over at Cougar. The transgenic is like a puppy thinking he’s done a trick. 

They’re getting their gear together when Roque asks, “So how much can you carry?” 

“Twice as much as you,” Jensen answers factually. 

Roque shows his teeth in something like a smile. ‘Let’s load you up then.” He throws his bag at the man’s silly face. The idiot is apparently trying to shape his sparse facial hair into a goatee like their sniper, as well. There has to be some upside of having this obnoxious kid on their team. So he grabs one of Pooch’s bags to redistribute more weight to the tech. 

But Cougar stubbornly clings to his own pack. “He’s not a pack horse,” he says in his low voice. 

“Then what do we have him for?” Roque queries. 

“I can take it,” Jensen insists. “We carried this much weight all the time.”

“And I carry this pack all the time,” Cougar replies stubbornly, moving away from the group. He doesn’t see how Jensen looks disappointed. 

But Jensen doesn’t complain of the extra weight as they make their way. In fact, he has plenty of energy to explore their surroundings. He doesn’t ever actually fall behind, but he keeps up a running commentary about the plants and birds and the fucking environment around them. During breaks, Jensen’s on his belly in the dirt marveling at animal tracks, the feel of different leaves, the exoskeletons of bugs. It’s like having an overactive pre-schooler on a camping trip rather than a mission for a team of Special Forces. 

During a break, Cougar is returning to the group after a piss when Jensen comes up to him with his hand out. He can’t see until it’s right in his face that there’s a huge black spider on Jensen’s hand. Instinctually, Cougar bats the thing away from his face and pushes the larger man away. 

“Whoa!” Clay pipes up before this can get out of hand. “What’s going on?”

Cougar doesn’t respond as he maneuvers around the others to be further away from Jensen. The tech turns around and that’s when the others see the eight-legged giant creature on his hand. 

“What the…”

“Get it off!”

They’re all shouting at him as Jensen flinches back and tries to put the spider on a nearby leaf. 

“Just shake it off!” Roque yells, adding to the commotion. 

“This species is extremely rare!” Jensen finally tries to defend himself. “I just wanted to show you how amazing it is. Most people will never see one.”

“Look!” Clay cuts into all of them yelling at each other. “Just cut that shit out, Jensen. We’re not here to look at the wildlife, ok? Think about the mission and not all this other shit.” He sighs and shifts. “We’re almost there. Get your gun up.”

By the time that they’ve reached the compound, they’ve silently taken out three guards. Cougar is in place and Pooch is covering their exit as Roque and Clay flank Jensen as they enter the building. Jensen swings his gun to rest on his back as he veers off toward the computer setup. He’s busily hacking into the system when he notices movement behind him. The man slinks into the room with his gun pointed squarely at Jensen, finger poised to pull the trigger to shoot him. There’s only a split second to move. He could avoid the shot. As a transgenic, he can move faster than the eye can see, faster than the man can shoot. 

But that’s against the rules. That would be using his modifications and he swore to Clay that he wouldn’t do anything that a human is not able to do. 

So he doesn’t move. He sees the man’s finger pulling the trigger and he braces for impact. The first bullet hits the right side of his vest, the second ricochets off of a rib unprotected where his vest is velcroed. The third and fourth bullets bury into the right side of his abdomen below where it’s unprotected by the vest. Over the sound of the gun firing, he can hear the shouts on his comm, but no one has come back in the room when he manages to grab his attacker’s gun, turning it around on the man. That dealt with, he stumbles out into the hallway to find his teammates. 

Cougar watches from his perch as things descend into an epic clusterfuck. When the three meet back up with Pooch, Jensen is carrying Roque over his shoulders and half of Clay’s face is covered in blood. Pooch takes over steadying their Colonel, but his arm gets winged by a bullet. 

The sniper is actually cursing continuously under his breath as he packs up and starts to move off his perch. His team needs help and he’s desperate to get to the rendezvous. It makes him sloppy as he starts running, running directly into one of the compound’s guards. He gets his handgun up to shoot the bastard, annoyed by the inconvenience even as he trips on a tree root and pain flares up from his foot. 

Angry at himself now, he limps the rest of the way to the rendezvous. He’s thinking that it’s actually lucky that they have a transgenic because he doesn’t think any of the rest of them could carry an unconscious Roque so easily, much less with all of them being injured. As he approaches, Jensen grabs him under the shoulders, helping him to walk with the free arm that isn’t anchored around Roque’s knee. Cougar reaches up and grabs the back of Roque’s jacket. It both stabilizes Roque and himself as his feet barely touch the ground as Jensen hurries to their ride. 

Pooch is still able to drive one-handed, and he calls ahead for the medics to help get the unconscious from the vehicle. Jensen manages to hang around the fringe of the activity and wave off any help, disappearing before he can be asked twice. He walks, stiff and controlled back to their rooms on base. It’s not until he reaches the private bathroom in their group of rooms that he begins to rush at all. From inside his vest, he pulls out a small suture kit which he tosses in the bathtub before he strips off his top half.

Blood is flowing continuously still into the waistband of his pants as he gets into the bathtub, his muddy boots making a mess on the white porcelain. He feels bad about that, though he supposes he’s about to make a bigger mess. He flips open his small pocket knife and sets to his task. He starts with the one highest on his side. It’s near the ribs and not very deep so it comes out easy. The other two are deep in his guts. 

It would be fair to say that Jensen was practiced at this kind of thing. But it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt as Jensen folds himself, trying to push the bullet closer to his grasping finger. He gasps in a couple painful breaths before he clenches down, creating as much intra-abdominal pressure as he can. The wounds bleed in streams as each bullet is removed. Black is creeping along the edge of his vision, but he’s well-practiced at keeping it at bay. Fortunately, each wound is small so he doesn’t put in many stitches. His body is more resistant to infection so it will only take a few days to heal. It won’t be pleasant in the meantime, though, he thinks as he passes out in the bathtub. 

*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&

Clay is fit to be tied as he walks out of the base’s hospital. All of the team had been kept overnight, but he’s the first to be released. Well, all of the team except their tech. He storms into the barracks, prepared to give the transgenic a tongue lashing. What is the point of a super human if he’s going to be shot in the first five minutes of the mission?!

He doesn’t find anyone in the common room or in the bedroom. He almost doesn’t check the bathroom, but when he opens the door, he sees a gangly form all spread out in the tub. It takes him a moment to realize that Jensen is still wearing his pants, and his boots, and the tub is covered in flaking blood. Then he notices the small wounds already stitched. 

Jensen’s right arm is thrown over the tub’s edge and his fist is tightly clenched. Clay is tempted to open that hand to find out what’s inside when the man opens his eyes. 

“What the fuck happened to you?” Clay growls, still angry but now also concerned. He hates that he can’t ever seem to stay angry at Jensen. 

Jensen then opens his clenched fist and holds out his hand to Clay. Reaching out his own hand, he receives three bullets, one that has been crushed. Clay swallows and glances to the wounds on the other man’s toned abdomen. 

“So you’ve provided your own first aid, then?” Clay offers. “You don’t need any help?”

“No, I’m fine,” Jensen says, though his voice is hoarse as he stands up slowly. “I’ll clean this up,” he says, apropos of nothing. 

Clay wipes a hand over his facial hair and rediscovers his annoyance. “So what exactly happened back there?” he asks, still feeling a splitting headache and the annoyance of stitches in his hairline. “Can’t you move at superspeed and avoid speeding bullets and throw the bad guys ten feet and everything? So far you’re not even as good as our last tech,” he growls. 

Jensen folds into himself at the criticism, but this is the kind of mistake that cannot happen again. Licking dry lips, Jensen stutters and can’t meet his eyes as he tries to defend himself. “You warned me not to do anything...extra-ordinary. Anyone could have been watching if I had avoided those bullets. What if there was a camera?”

“You...you could have avoided being shot?” Clay doesn’t understand what he’s hearing. “You chose to be shot?”

“You said…” Jensen tries. 

“Yes, I know what I said!” Clay interrupts. “I just didn’t think...you’d take it so literally,” he finishes in a quieter voice. “If using your special skills means saving the mission, then you have my permission to do what it takes. That goes for also saving your teammates, and for saving yourself. I can’t believe I have to tell you this. You have the self-preservation instinct of a lemming, apparently.”

Jensen sways a bit now that he’s standing and Clay takes pity on the man. Again. “Look, get some rest. In the bed. And let me know if you do need a hand.”

Leaving the bathroom, Clay listens as the shower turns on, for a lot longer than three minutes this time. He sits at the table and starts writing his report, not looking up at Jensen comes out and goes into the bedroom. His headache gets steadily worse as he stares at the laptop screen so that he barely notices when he’s joined by his subordinates. 

Cougar and Pooch enter the room and stop as they catch sight of their CO. Seeing him, they make their way over. Pooch scratches at his arm, idly. He had to stay to finish a course of antibiotics and Cougar had to wait for the X-ray machine. Still, they only have one question on their minds. 

“Where’s Jensen?” Pooch asks. 

“Asleep,” Clay answers simply, but then he stands and reaches across the small table. Opening his own fist, he drops the bullets still coated in dried blood in Cougar’s palm. 

Pooch only has a second’s glance before Cougar clenches his fist around the projectiles. “He was shot,” he says slowly, quietly. It’s not a question. He can imagine the situation all too well. 

It’s hard not to immediately rush into the bedroom, rush to Jensen’s bedside. There’s three bullets in his hand, pressing uncomfortably into his fingers with the force with which he’s clenching them. Jensen was shot, carried Roque for miles, and then dug these bullets out of his flesh alone and unaided. But he won’t go to the injured man. Jensen probably doesn’t see anything wrong with this scenario and that’s why he can’t. He won’t be the one to baby their teammate through all of life after that place. He can’t possibly be that responsible for another person. 

They’ve been silent too long. So Clay starts explaining in the absence of questions. “I’ve explained to him that he is allowed to use his super powers on missions and in order to save any of us. Apparently, he just sat there and let them shoot him.”

Cougar flinches then as if struck himself. Jensen would rather be shot than be rejected by them. He’ll do anything for them, perhaps even have sex in an misguided attempt to please them. He’s sickened suddenly to remember last night. Jensen himself may not even know his own motivations. How can the man really consent to any of this?

Cougar bows his head as Pooch begins to argue. “Jesus Christ! He’s a liability, Clay. We can’t trust him to do his job.”

“We will give him another shot,” Clay responds calmly. He anticipated some pushback and is prepared to pull rank. “I doubt he performed worse than any other tech and it’s still possible he will be an asset. And besides, I haven’t decided what else to do with him.”

Pooch fortunately backs down, mumbling, “One more shot,” as he walks into his bedroom. Cougar simply sits down at the table with his superior and drags his bag closer. Cleaning his gun is a good distraction from thinking about Jensen and from the throbbing pain of his ankle. His foot is bruised, but apparently nothing’s broken. 

Roque, when he arrives, is all piss and vinegar. He hates being injured and he hates more being carried out of a mission. 

“The fuck happened out there?” Roque growls. 

“It’s taken care of,” Clay says, feeling like he’s had this conversation ten times over. “I told him not to let anyone know about his mutant abilities and he took it literally that he couldn’t do anything during the mission that a normal human couldn’t do.”

“Where did he get that stupid idea?” Roque growls, unwilling to be placated. “His abilities are the whole point.”

“Well, he did manage to carry your unconscious ass for miles,” Clay continues smugly, knowing how it’ll piss off his long time friend. It also serves to transfer some of the man’s ire to Clay. 

“That’s what he’s there for,” Roque grumbles as Clay laughs at him. “Plane’s here,” he informs them as he grabs his bag with a wince. 

“I’ll see you on the plane,” Clay yells at this friend’s back. He stands up then, ready to start waking everyone up. He’s moving to knock on Pooch’s door when Cougar is already heading out. 

He collects Pooch and Jensen who both stumble after him like sleepy children as they board the plane. Clay tries to inconspicuously observe their transgenic team member for any sign of injury, of weakness. But besides being quiet and blinking a lot once he’s sitting down, the young man doesn’t show anything, not in the way that he walks, the way he sits down or stands up, nothing. It does seem reasonable to assume that a super-human would be an incredible asset, but he wonders if they’re all expecting too much. Does one person really change the balance? Particularly when that person is looking at a screen most of the time?


	3. Chapter 3

By the time that they land, Clay has a raging headache and can’t stand the idea of having to deal with a single other human for a moment longer. The sun is setting and he just wants to go home and die. 

“Jensen, you can go to your own apartment tonight,” Clay informs the transgenic as the five of them are walking towards the parking area. 

“What?!” Pooch is the first to react. Clay sighs, surprised that Pooch is so set against this kid. “You don’t think someone should watch him? It’s been like two days since he betrayed us.”

Finally, Roque steps in with a growling chuckle. “You think you could stop him if he decided to leave?”

“Much less that he could be doing who knows what on the internet,” Clay continues. “We have to trust him until he gives us a reason not to.”

“But he doesn’t know any better,” Pooch continues to argue. “He can barely dress himself. Someone needs to be there to tell him how to act before setting him loose on the unsuspecting public.”

“Well, then you’re nominated,” Clay finishes, moving away from the others immediately. 

Roque and Cougar are gone by the time that Pooch stops glaring in disbelief at his superior’s back. That just leaves Jensen there, looking at him expectantly. 

“Goddammit, I have a date,” Pooch complains. He knows he could just send Jensen home, just say that it’s not his problem and forget about it, but he would know. He’ll be thinking about it all night anyway. “Fuck...come on.”

“We’re meeting Jolene at a Mexican restaurant,” Pooch explains. “Just don’t be weird.”

“I promise,” Jensen starts, pulling on his seatbelt. “I won’t mention anything. Not about the mission, not about Manticore, or the experiments, or shark DNA or…”

“Jesus Christ,” Pooch interrupts. “Don’t say anything at all.”

“Yep, absolutely. No problem,” Jensen continues rambling. “My lips are sealed..”

Jensen is still talking when Pooch gets out of the car. Inside, the restaurant is dim and brightly colored with sombreros on the walls and colored lights strung around. It’s Jolene’s favorite restaurant for one reason, the frozen strawberry margaritas. Pooch spots her in a booth with the giant pink concoction already in front of her. 

“Jolene, baby,” Pooch starts in a hopefully soothing voice. Jolene can be quite unforgiving when he fucks up. “I am so sorry that I’m late.”

She ignores his apology to focus on the unexpected guest. “Who’s this?”

“Hi, I’m Jensen,” the transgenic introduces himself, leaning forward and beginning to extend his hand. His hand doesn’t make contact as Pooch shoves him into the booth. 

“He’s a new teammate. Doesn’t know anyone around here and all the guys already left...anyway, how was your day?” Pooch turns the conversation around. 

“What’s good in Mexican food?” Jensen interrupts, looking at the menu like he’s just been handed the Holy Grail. “Is it like the Chinese?”

Jolene laughs a little. “It’s not like Chinese. You’ve never had Mexican food?”

“He grew up in a cult,” Pooch blurts out, thinking fast. “Like the Amish, but worse.”

“We had Chinese food the other day. It was amazing,” Jensen breaks in. 

The waiter interrupts then, thankfully. Pooch orders two beers and some nachos. When he turns back, Jolene is practically leaning over the table to talk to the idiot tech. Why didn’t he think of an explanation for the guy’s weird behavior? Now Jolene is all intrigued by it.

“Wow,” she’s saying. “So you’ve never eaten ethnic food or watched tv? But now you’re in the military. So, this cult...did they believe in pacifism?”

“No, kinda the opposite,” Jensen starts as he reaches for a beer as the waiter sets it down. He looks at the bottle briefly before taking a drink. 

And spitting it out. “Goddammit!” Pooch curses and jumps from his seat, even as Jolene is laughing. 

“I’m guessing you’ve never had beer,” Jolene says, giggling. She wipes at the table with her napkin. 

The waiter comes back over with more napkins. “Can we get another strawberry margarita?” Jolene asks as she takes the napkins, handing one over to Jensen. 

“You got it in her drink?!” Pooch cries, beyond embarrassed at this entire fiasco. He really likes Jolene. 

“No, it’s for him,” Jolene explains, though she doesn’t even look at him. She’s still too involved with Jensen and his cult background. “I think you’ll like it,” she winks. 

She  _ winked _ , at Jensen. Pooch is still wondering how this came off the rails as the waiter comes back with another giant pink glass and a plate of nachos. 

Jensen gleefully slides the glass over and begins to suck on the straw. Immediately, his eyebrows shoot up. “It’s amazing!” Jensen stops long enough to say, diving back in immediately. The pink drink is quickly disappearing. Until the inevitable happens and Jensen pulls back with a grimace and a hand pressing on his forehead. 

“Brain freeze,” Jolene explains with a little laugh. “Slow down there a little. I knew you’d like it.”

Jensen nods and then looks over at Pooch who’s nibbling gloomily on a chip. “Do you think Cougar has had one of these? What are they called?” he asks, while twirling the paper umbrella in his hand. 

“A strawberry margarita,” Pooch says, slowly. 

“Cougar?” Jolene interjects, looking up at Pooch finally as she recognizes the name of his teammate. 

Jensen gives the game away immediately as he blushes and looks down. He mumbles out a response. “I just mean that he should have one, because it’s so good.”

Pooch’s eyes widen, not knowing how Jolene is going to react to this mess. But he needn’t have worried. Jolene has this amazing ability to make everyone feel welcome. So he’s not surprised when she reaches a gentle hand across the table to touch Jensen. 

“Do you have a crush on him?” she asks, gently. “Just a little one?” she teases with a wrinkle of her nose. 

“A crush?” Jensen asks, leaning closer to her as if on instinct. “I don’t know what that is, but we have had sex.”

Even Jolene’s eyebrows lift at that matter-of-fact statement. “Oh-Okay,” she stutters out. “So why aren’t you with him right now?”

Jensen squirms in his seat so Pooch breaks in, trying to divert her attention from this crazy scenario. “It’s complicated. They’re teammates; they’re not exactly supposed to...fraternize.”

Jolene actually rolls her eyes at him. But Jensen has warmed to this subject. “He’s hurt his foot. I could hold him if I knew where he was.” Jensen takes a breath and sighs. “Do you know where he is, Pooch? I could bring him this margarita.”

Pooch closes his eyes and shakes his head in annoyance. “Every time Jensen likes something, he wants to give it to Cougar,” he explains to Pooch. Then he looks over at the transgenic. “Look, Jensen, I’m not telling you where he is. If he wanted you to come by then he would have invited you.”

“Aww, you really like him,” Jolene interrupts. “You want to share with him.”

“Well, he didn’t like the last thing I showed him,” Jensen interjects. 

“He doesn't even know Cougar,” Pooch interrupts. “They just met days ago.”

“I just think he should experience all the good things out here,” Jensen explains, not realizing how strange that sounds to anyone who doesn’t know about his past. 

“He’s the first person that you think of,” she prompts him. 

“Yeah, he is,” Jensen smiles to himself. “I like talking to him. I liked cuddling in bed; I learned that word on tv, cuddling. Isn’t it a funny word?”

“Look, Jensen,” Pooch interrupts the rambling. “There are other fish in the sea. He just got out of a cult,” he says again for Jolene’s benefit. “Cougar is the first guy he’s met.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Jolene argues. “He clearly has real feelings for the guy. I hope Cougar isn’t blowing him off because of his teammates,” she subtly digs at him. 

“They can do whatever, it doesn’t bother me,” Pooch says, even though that’s not exactly the truth of it. “It’s just more complicated than that,” he finishes pathetically.

As they’ve been arguing, Jensen has finally discovered the nachos. “Guys, have you had these?” he exclaims. “They’re so good,” he says as he shoves more into his mouth. 

“He’s like this with everything?” Jolene supposes, laughing as her date enthusiastically agrees with her supposition. 

“God, watch out!” Pooch laughs. “He can put away some food.”

She laughs. “I can’t imagine, experiencing everything for the first time. I guess you don’t long to go back?”

“No,” Jensen denies, emphatically shaking his head. “Go back, to no Mexican food and no margaritas, and no cuddling in bed? No Cougar, and Clay, and you, Pooch? I don’t want to go back.”

Jensen sits back in his seat then, seemingly suddenly shrunken. Pooch looks at him and doesn’t see a super soldier who could kill everyone in this restaurant without breaking a sweat. He sees a man; a human who yearns for love and friendship and acceptance. 

The waiter interrupts his navel gazing. He orders for himself and Jensen. If he let the transgenic have everything he wants, he’s sure Jensen would make himself sick. This is what he was trying to tell Clay. Maybe it’s not just that they need to protect the world from Jensen, they need to protect Jensen from the world. 

“So how was your day,” Pooch asks, finally wanting to get away from the topic of Jensen.

And Jensen himself seems happy with the topic change. Having just gotten out of a ‘cult’, he’s interested in every minutiae of Jolene’s day, asking about things that would seem obvious or insignificant to others. Why does she go for coffee breaks? What does she do at work? He’s quickly very invested in the drama between her coworkers, siding with Jolene implicitly. His questions are interspersed with constant comments about how good everything is that he puts in his mouth. 

By the time the bill comes, Pooch is contemplating his options. He feels fairly confident that if he escorts the mutant home, that Jensen will be fine. Especially if he tells Jensen to stay inside until he’s picked up in the morning. That seems reasonable, he tells himself. Because he really wants to spend the night at Jolene’s place. He stands up and pulls her close so he can whisper in her ear. 

“I just have to take him home and then, I could come over,” he phrases it like a question and she laughs and pats his chest. 

“Sure, you go take care of your guest,” she says, easily slipping away as Pooch tries to give her a kiss. “Bye, Jensen.”

Pooch sighs and waves at his new teammate to follow him. They’re walking down the block to where the car is parked when a man suddenly starts yelling about his wallet being stolen. The man is yelling and pointing at a woman who suddenly starts running. On instinct, Jensen starts to run after her. Pooch yells at him before reluctantly following the pursuit. The woman is running at normal human speed, until she suddenly turns a corner and then she’s sprinting as only a transgenic can down an alleyway. Jensen speeds up as well. 

But he’s screeching to a sudden stop when the woman does, darting behind a dumpster. He’s surprised when she then picks up a child, a little girl who looks to be about three. He holds up his hands then in the universal sign that he means no harm. 

“Are you-you’re from Manticore?” he asks. But he doesn’t wait for an answer, “You both are. S-she’s one of us? Isn’t she? She’s yours?”

The woman clutches the child tighter, but she’s caged herself between the wall and the dumpster. Then Pooch interrupts the scene. 

“Jensen! What..?” He screeches to a halt, and then stares from Jensen to the woman. And then to the child. “Oh geez, look, lady, you have to give the wallet back.”

“Fine,” she spits and throws the wallet at Jensen. 

But Jensen lets the wallet hit his chest and bounce off. It doesn’t stop him staring at her like he’s seen a ghost. “Jensen, what?” Pooch blurts. 

Jensen fights briefly with himself. He knows that he is not supposed to lie to his team, not supposed to keep secrets. Desperately, he falls to his knees in front of the other man. 

“Pooch, please don’t turn her in,” he begs. “I’ll do anything. If there can be only one transgenic, let it be her.”

“What are you talking about?” Pooch asks, confused. 

“She’s from Manticore. They both are. The kid deserves to have a life, to grow up out here with Chinese food and school and freedom. Just please, Pooch, please.”

“Whoa, whoa,” Pooch says, moving closer to the woman coincidentally. “That kid was born inside that warehouse?”

Slowly the woman nods. “Yes. She’s mine. She deserves a life; we all do.”

Pooch lifts his hands to his head, squeezes his skull like he can make things make sense this way. What would Clay do if they told him about this woman and a kid, geez a kid that was stuck inside that facility. He can’t turn a kid over to the government. But she was stealing, and Jensen murdered someone; do these things not have any morality? “She can’t steal,” he murmurs, still unsure. 

“She can have my money,” Jensen says, fumbling in his back pocket for his wallet. “Here, here’s my bank card and my apartment keys. She can stay there and I’ll, I’ll turn myself into the military. Whatever you want,” Jensen pleads. “She can do anything I can do.”

“No,” Pooch says. They can’t get rid of Jensen, he just started to like the guy. And what about Cougar. “She has to get a job, or something. Something besides the military.” Jesus, how many of these things are out there, having no clue how to function in society.

“I will get her an ID and documents,” Jensen bargains. “She can stay at my apartment and I’ll stay on base.”

That’s starting to make sense. “Okay,” Pooch counters. “You’ll help get her set up and you can just take your meals in the canteen until she has a job. And the kid needs papers too so she can go to school.” Maybe this is better, he tells himself. This way they can keep an eye on her too, make sure that she doesn’t use her super powers for evil. But should they tell Clay? What if Clay does want to turn her in? What if Clay decides they should just turn them both in?

“We’ll keep this just between us, for now,” Pooch tries. “I’ll tell Clay, in a few days. But don’t mention it until I tell you. Okay?” 

“Okay, yes, thank you,” Jensen blurts. 

“And get up,” Pooch snarls at his still kneeling teammate. “We will drive her and the kid to your apartment. What’s your name?”

The woman simply stares at him blankly. “We don’t have names,” Jensen reminds him. 

Pooch closes his eyes. He doesn’t like to think of things like that, doesn't like to remember exactly what these things went through to become so weird. “Well, she’ll need to get one for an ID. C’mon.”

It takes a moment for the woman to actually follow him. He waits for Jensen to placate her, promise that she won’t be turned in. Still the woman is mostly silent as they walk, even the kid. When they get into the car, the little girl only looks at him with big dark eyes. He thinks of those cells, and the medical equipment that he saw in that place, and he has to look away. He’s already second-guessing himself as they pull up to Jensen’s apartment building. If this woman does something, like murder someone then he will be responsible. They can’t keep this secret forever. 

But he watches silently as Jensen leads the woman to his apartment, giving her last minute instructions. What skills do these mutants even have? Then again, considering everything that Jensen picks up from the internet daily, maybe she could have any job she chooses. He’s hopelessly fraught with indecision, but he keeps silent. 

They’re silent on the way back to the base. It’s much later than Pooch anticipated being at Jolene’s place when he drops Jensen off, so he calls Jolene on the way, desperately wanting to be with her, to stop thinking for a minute. 


	4. Chapter 4

Jensen walks inside their rooms on base finally allowing a grimace of pain to cross his face. Slumping back against the closed door behind him, he pulls up his shirt to check his stitches. Every movement of his arm pulls them uncomfortably, but the skin is nearly closed. There’s still an ache deep inside his guts. The pain radiates out to his hip and he limps over to his chair and laptop. 

He feels exhausted as he sits down at his laptop, undoubtedly because of the pain. Instead of resting, though, he wants to get started on X5-614’s new life. After his mistakes on the recent mission, it makes him feel better, more purposeful. Now he knows that at least one of those children from Manticore is going to grow up with a real life. Perhaps it’s too late for the rest of them, those of them who lived their whole lives at Manticore, but the children deserve more, deserve a chance. That little girl is going to grow up loved, with opportunities, with choices, with freedom. 

Jensen is going to make sure of it. The tv at Clay’s house showed him tons of things that kids need. Besides the candy, chips and cereals, there were Lego building kits for spaceships and fluffy robot dragons that hatched out of eggs and art kits and other toys. And over and over, he kept seeing scenes with fathers throwing a ball to their kid, though he’s not really sure why that’s so popular. It must be some test of their reflexes. 

He’s eager to get started, but as his hands hover over the keyboard, he’s not sure what identity to give them. She said she didn’t have a preference about names, had not given it any thought. Like most transgenics, she never really thought that freedom was possible. And it’s not just their names that he needs to come up with, it’s their entire lives. Where are they from? What schools did she go to? What hospital was the kid born in? The questions stop him in his tracks, and he sits there rubbing a hand over his aching neck. He has memorized the hometowns of Clay and Pooch, and each of his teammates. Would it be suspicious if he used one of their backstories?

The idea comes to him slowly and he debates its merits for long minutes. But finally he decides to use the backstory that he knows the best. He creates birth certificates for Jessica Jensen and her daughter, Elizabeth. They are the sister and niece of Jacob Jensen. It’s perfect! They’ll be a family and it won’t look suspicious for them to be together. In excitement, his mind runs through all the things that he will do with his new niece, Beth. 

Paperwork done, he showers and changes clothes, eats breakfast in the canteen. He’s back sitting at the table when his teammates begin arriving the next morning. Arriving first, Clay notices and thinks that it looks like the kid never moves, never leaves. He’s always sitting and 

waiting for them, always smiling at them and excited to see them. Clay can barely stand to watch. What Jensen needs, the military can’t give him. So Clay hides from his own team. He’s got paperwork and some meetings today so he collects Roque to be elsewhere. 

The rest follow suit. Cougar stops by only long enough to get his rifle and disappears to the range. Pooch may have bonded a bit with their resident freak the previous night, but today, his conscience is weighed down by the secret he’s keeping. He can barely look at the transgenic without feeling guilty so he disappears too. 

At first, Jensen doesn’t notice. He’s busily scanning websites for kid’s toys. And, he assumes that they have places to be that he doesn’t know about. They have friends and family and responsibilities. It’s not dissimilar from Manticore. When he wasn’t needed, he was just put back into his cell. He’s used to being ignored, just part of the furniture. 

But once it’s dark and he’s still sitting there all alone, it starts to feel a little different than just being put back in his box. It feels...personal, like rejection, like abandonment. He takes out his stitches and goes to eat dinner by himself in the loud canteen. Everyone else is with a group, laughing and talking and carrying on. He can no longer tell himself that the others are just busy. They don’t want to be here, with him. 

But there is still one person who understands being an freak in this brave new world so he heads over to his old apartment. The newly christened Jess opens the door with a knife in his face. Undeterred, he gives her a wide smile anyway. 

“Hey, I just wanted to talk about your documents,” he chirps. 

Looking indignant, she lets him inside the apartment but doesn’t hide the fact that she’s still holding the knife in her hand. The smile is a rictus on his face, but it’s understandable that she doesn’t trust another of their kind. They’re not a very trustworthy bunch, he supposes, having been trained as spies. 

She watches him closely as he looks around the apartment. “So where is it?” she finally asks. 

The apartment doesn’t look any different. There are no toys or other baby things around that he can see. There’s no mess either, not even the smell of spoiled milk or dirty diapers. “Where is she? Can I see her?” he asks instead of answering her question. 

She sighs aggressively and slams the knife down on the counter. Only then does she lead him into the bedroom of the small one bedroom apartment. Sitting on the floor is the little girl who looks up at him with calm, intelligent eyes. He knows that children don’t normally act like this. Kneeling, he looks at the textbook that she is absently toying with. 

“Hey, little girl,” he says to her, his voice naturally becoming softer and higher. “What are you doing, huh? Don’t you have any toys?”

The one-sided conversation is interrupted when her mother yanks Jensen up by his bicep. “Look, just give me the documents,” she demands. “I don’t want her exposed to us, any of us. I want her as far away from transgenics and Manticore as possible.”

“But I...I want her to have a normal life too. I would never put her in danger,” he defends himself. 

She pulls him by the arm back to the kitchen. “You’re a transgenic. And with the military,” she attacks. But then her face softens. “Maybe it wouldn’t even be on purpose, but…I can’t take that risk.”

“But you don’t have anyone,” he says. “You don’t know how to be out here, how to take care of her; how to fit in.”

“That’s not your problem,” she says. “I’ll get a few things sorted and then we’ll be moving on.”

Jensen feels more pain in that moment that when he was shot recently. It feels like someone has ripped out his heart when he thinks of this little girl being taken away from him. 

“O-okay,” he stutters out. “Your passport and driver’s license are being mailed to you so you’ll have to stick around for a bit. I made it seem like you just lost the originals,” he can’t help bragging a bit. “I gave you an English degree from the University of New Hampshire, but I can give you any degree that you want. Have you thought about where you want to work? Looked on the internet yet?”

“Yes, I...hadn’t thought of that,” she slowly admits. 

Jensen smiles and points toward the desk where one of his laptops was left. He knows that not all of the transgenics were trained as much in technology as he was. Before the military balked on the whole mutant thing, they used to be in teams, which means that they used to have specialties. Technology has always been his, but hers was clearly something else. 

“Just, go buy yourself a cell phone and then text me the number. Tell me when you get the passport and I’ll change your history for whatever job you want then. Ok?” he confirms. “And go to a baby store and buy some stuff!”

She rolls her eyes at him and pushes him out the front door. It’s dark when Jensen starts aimlessly walking in the direction of the base. His teammates don’t want to hang out with him, not Pooch or Clay or even Cougar. And now other transgenics don’t want to be near him either. His fantasies of having a family crumble to dust around him, all those plans that he had to teach Beth. He’s always going to be the outsider, the mistake like he was at Manticore. 

When he pays attention to his surroundings again, he realizes that he’s not near the base at all. He didn’t tell Pooch, but he memorized the home address of all the Losers members before he even met them. Now he finds himself in front of Cougar’s townhouse. He’s debating about going inside when the door opens. He hides himself instinctively and watches as Cougar goes nimbly down the front steps and hops into a nearby parked car. 

Jensen starts jogging as the car pulls out. It’s fairly easy to keep up even at human speed as Cougar stops for red lights and hits some traffic. When the car is pulling into a parking lot. he ends up squatting behind another car as he continues spying. Cougar looks around suspiciously before going inside, but then again Cougar always seems suspicious of his surroundings. 

After a few minutes, Jensen also goes inside to find that the inside of the building is as dark as the night outside but lit with black lights. Behind a desk, there’s a man in all black with white blonde spiked hair that waves him forward. 

“Yoohoo!” the man calls to him. “I haven’t seen you before. You’re not lost?”

“N-no,” Jensen says. “I-I’m new. In town, you know. But I’ve heard all about this place. I heard it’s the absolute best. That’s what all the guys say. They say, you have to go to this place, Jensen...” he gestures stupidly behind the curtain that seems to lead into the establishment. 

“Well, let me see the merchandise,” the man says, teasingly. “Take off those glasses and let me get a look.”

Confused, Jensen removes his glasses and blinks at the man judging him. “And now off with the shirt.”

The bright orange tshirt is still obscuring Jensen’s face when the man lets out a whoop and says, “You can go on in, gorgeous.” When Jensen has disentangled himself, the man steps around the podium to grab Jensen’s wrist, stamping the transgenic’s hand with some kind of winged elephant. 

“Thanks!” Jensen waves behind him as he goes inside still wearing only his cargo shorts, his tshirt and glasses in his hand. Behind the curtain, he’s hit with a wall of heat and noise and men. Everywhere he looks, there are men, most of them also shirtless. 

Some of the shirtless men are dancing, including on the bar that runs alongside the left wall. Finally, Jensen realizes it’s a club, a gay bar, and a smile breaks over his face. His first club! He’s excited but he’s not really sure what to do. As he walks forward through the crowd, he notices several heads turning to look at him. One man starts to follow him, sidling up behind him as he approaches the bar. 

“Hey, handsome,” the handsome brunette flirts with him, one hand trailing over the wide width of Jensen’s shoulders. “Let me buy you a drink.”

Excited, Jensen sucks in a breath in preparation to ask if they have those margarita things, but he stops himself. He wants to find Cougar, not stop for yummy frozen drinks. At his hesitance, the man tries to get his attention again. Jensen can’t suppress a shiver as the man’s slim fingers run down his naked arm. 

Awkward, Jensen laughs and takes a step back, bumping into another shirtless man. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes. “I’m sorry. I’m actually looking for someone,” he says as the brunette steps closer to him again. “He’s a bit shorter than me, usually wearing a cowboy hat. He has beautiful dark eyes that you can just stare at for hours and his hair is like silk…”

“Oh,” the man exclaims suddenly stepping back. “Wow, you are completely taken, huh? That is so sweet. Well, let me know if you are in need of a third,” he says, leaving with a last grope of Jensen’s chest. 

Jensen squeals like he’s been goosed and then blushes. There are many pairs of eyes still on him and it makes him feel more out of place than usual. He feels like his mutations might as well have manifested, like he has a shark’s fin on his back or a tiger’s stripes. The music pulses through him, like it’s disrupting the rhythm of his heart, as he watches the sensuous movements of one of the dancers above him. 

Jerking himself out of his trance of watching the dancer’s movements, Jensen moves slowly across the club, looking for his teammate. He doubts that Cougar would remove his hat. The sniper doesn’t need to show skin to be sexy. He’s spinning around stupidly when he finally spies a brown hat by the far wall. Haplessly, he rushes forward, trying to push past all the shirtless men in his way, but he’s lost Cougar again by the time he makes it to the other side. He does see a couple of men push open the door below the bright red exit sign, the door that says Alarm Will Sound. Following after them, he steps out into a dark alleyway. The couple stumbles out into the street, but he turns and goes further down the alleyway. 

There are other couples wrapped up in each other in the darkened hidden area, but as one man suddenly drops to his knees, he recognizes Cougar leaning back against the wall. He’s so surprised that he just stands there in the center of the alleyway like a dullard. 

When Cougar lifts his eyes and sees their voyeur, and he isn’t bothered, at first. He’s not opposed to threesomes, especially since he came here in search of a distraction. He came to prove to himself that he can have sex with anyone that he wants, not just lust after his mutant teammate. Then he realizes that he’s not just thinking about Jensen, he’s staring at Jensen. 

The two Special Forces members stare at each other long enough that the man on his knees notices. He looks up at their interloper and then slowly stands up. “Hey you,” he calls out before holding a hand out to Jensen. “Are you into watching or participating?”

Jensen takes the outstretched hand and allows himself to be pulled in. That’s when Cougar realizes that he’s looking at two very similar men. Both are tall and pale and blue-eyed...except that Jensen is growing that awful goatee. Cougar is disgusted with himself and starts to shift sideways, out from beneath the stranger. 

“Aw, hey man,” the man calls after him. “The more the merrier, right?”

Cougar looks back to see the stranger pushing Jensen against the wall in his place, hands already stroking down Jensen’s naked flanks. Jensen’s not stopping the groping even though his eyes haven’t left Cougar’s. He can’t just leave the mutant, though he tells himself that it’s not jealousy. 

Stalking back, he grabs Jensen’s forearm, yanking him away decisively. “ _ Lo siento _ . He doesn’t understand consent yet,” Cougar growls in a low voice. 

He pulls Jensen all the way to the parking lot before releasing his grip. “I will take you back to your apartment,” Cougar says as he rounds his car. “And put your shirt back on.”

Jensen’s eyes widen before he’s pulling his shirt over his head. But instead of getting in the car, he simply stands by the passenger door with his hands on the roof. “That’s okay. I’ll just walk back. I’m not ready to go to sleep anyway soooo I’ll just see you tomorrow, kay? Sounds great. See ya.”

“Get in the car,” Cougar growls, before opening the driver’s side door and getting in. He just assumes that Jensen will follow him and he’s not wrong as Jensen folds himself into the passenger seat a second later. 

“You can bring me to the base, that’s fine,” Jensen rambles as he puts his seatbelt on. Cougar is surprised. Why would that place teach them about seatbelts?

“No,” Cougar responds. Jensen needs to spend some time away from the base, to learn that he’s not just a tool to be used by the military now. Then a thought occurs to him. “What were you doing there?” Maybe Jensen wasn’t looking for him. Maybe it’s Cougar who intruded on Jensen’s evening.

“Oh, I followed you there,” Jensen says, dashing Cougar’s last thought. “Are all clubs like that? Do you ever dance? I bet you’re amazing, what with how you slink around. Can you teach me?”

Cougar doesn’t even bother answering, just lets the other man talk as they drive back to his apartment. He’s too busy thinking about Jensen stalking him, finding his home, searching for him through the throngs of shirtless men in the club. He can’t decide if that’s sweet or creepy. 

Silent, he leads the way back up the stairs to his rowhouse. As soon as he’s opening the door, Jensen is inside examining every inch of it. Cougar watches him as he investigates the bland soulless place that Cougar calls home. It’s decorated like a hotel, even down to the ridiculous pictures on the walls. It’s just a place to lay his head at night. He doesn’t even bring his one night stands here. He just doesn’t care, not since Afghanistan… 

With effort, he redirects his thoughts. Fortunately, Jensen is very diverting. Presumably there were many men in that club willing to take the other man home, especially with his top off. But Cougar still wants Jensen when he’s wearing those loud shirts and geeky glasses, when he’s being obnoxious. What concerns Cougar is how he still wants Jensen knowing that the man is a transgenic, and a spy. After years of one night stands, Cougar might actually like Jensen. 

The man in question appears to have found the bedroom and has disappeared inside. When Cougar follows, Jensen is already snooping inside one of his dresser drawers. He lounges in the door frame and watches the other man’s investigations. 

“Why did you follow me tonight?” he asks. 

Others might be put off by the tone of Cougar’s question, but the other man is nonplussed. Jensen turns around and then takes off his glasses, putting them down on the dresser. “I didn’t really think about it,” Jensen starts sheepishly. “I just wanted to be with you,” he admits. He doesn’t say that Cougar knows the truth and isn’t afraid of him. “I mean, if you want to invite one of those guys, it’s a-okay with me. Whatever you want,” Jensen babbles. “But none of them are as beautiful as you. You’re a sexy beast, Cougar, and you know it,” he teases the sniper. 

Jensen begins to pull his shirt off again, and Cougar doesn’t stop him. He knew he was going to give in to his desire for the other man when he pulled Jensen to the car. But this time, he will take his time. “First, I want you to take a shower,” he instructs. “And prepare yourself.”

Cougar sits on the bed to take his weight off his foot and sets about stripping. After removing his hat and shirts, he leans down to take off his boots and socks, and slowly rotates his ankle. The swelling has subsided with ice and ibuprofen, but the skin is now colored like a swamp. Sliding into the bed, he looks up at the sound of footsteps to see Jensen enter the bedroom naked, not having bothered with a towel, showing off his toned body, still gleaming from water. Cougar has a hard time resisting Jensen when he’s naked and he wonders if the other man knows that. Slowly, he extends a hand, helping the other man lie down on the bed. Jensen smirks a little as he leans down, believing he has the upper hand, but Cougar flips him over and leans down to kiss the plush lips. Jensen gets better at that every time and Cougar only imagines how good a genetically created man can get. 

Covering Jensen’s body, Cougar leans down, eschewing Jensen’s distracting lips to trail kisses down the prominent tendon of Jensen’s throat. Immediately, Jensen’s breath catches in surprise, but it only takes a moment for him to be arching into the new sensation. He presses his head back into the pillow, stretching his neck as Cougar kisses the sensitive skin, coming back up to nip at the earlobe. That’s all the restraint that Jensen has as he’s then grabbing Cougar. One large hand cups the back of Cougar’s neck as his other hand cards through the silky tresses, holding them back so that Jensen can reciprocate. The transgenic is desperate, as always, to share his pleasure. Enthusiastic but unskilled plush lips kiss and suck over his neck as Cougar relents and arches his neck. He lets the other man mouth over both sides of his neck before pushing him forcefully down to the mattress. 

Cougar nips over Jensen’s adam apple as he makes his way down the man’s body again, down over the furred chest to find a small pink nipple. Flicking his tongue over the nub produces quite the reaction and he has to tighten his grip as he continues to torment the sensitive flesh. He goes slowly, first licking, and then suckling. When he gently bites, Jensen arches up, nails digging in as his hands clench on caramel-colored skin. As soon as he pulls back to take a breath though, Jensen turns the table again, suddenly sitting up and practically lifting Cougar so that he can get to Cougar’s chest. 

Kneeling over the other man, Cougar grips onto the short hair, calming the other man. “Careful. Just your tongue,” Cougar coaches, his breath catching as Jensen looks up at him through his thick eyelashes and then carefully, his tongue comes out to lick. His hand moves from gripping to massaging Jensen’s neck as that tongue teases him, flicking over his nipple. His breath deepens as he says, “Suck, no teeth.”

Jensen’s eyes look up at him again, but as plush lips wrap around his nipple, he watches the look of concentration on the other man’s face, Jensen’s forehead wrinkling as he suckles. Cougar is getting so turned on that he has to push Jensen over to his other nipple as he becomes oversensitive. Then he’s pushing Jensen down to the bed once again. 

He can’t resist biting at Jensen’s neglected nipple before he moves on, sucking over Jensen’s ribs. This close, Cougar can see the miraculously healed wounds. There’s what looks like a scratch across ribs and then two darker holes about where the man’s waistband would be. They look like they’re a month old, but he can also see how the wound has been expanded, by desperate big fingers trying to find a bullet. Cougar moves lower and Jensen’s legs open easily, wrapping around Cougar as he sucks kisses into Jensen’s belly. 

Cougar then sits up. “Turn over,” he orders. 

Jensen hesitates before obeying, clearly not wanting to lose the connection between them. Cougar has to move to give the other man room, but as he settles between those thighs again, he watches as Jensen pulls up his knees so that he’s basically in a split. Cougar’s mind goes over some other possibilities for that kind of flexibility before he refocuses. Jensen’s back muscles are clearly tense as he parts those round cheeks. He can see that Jensen well prepared himself, his hole is more red than pink and it winks open in anticipation as Cougar stares. But as soon as his tongue touches that hole, Jensen arches hard, his whole chest off the bed. Cougar flattens his tongue and rubs it against that furled entrance while wrapping his arms around the man’s thighs to hold onto the writhing body. Jensen absolutely quivers as Cougar keeps his stimulation light. 

Gulping down air as he stare at the ceiling, Jensen chokes out, “C-cougar! What the..?” He finally lies back down on the bed, though he doesn’t relax. His arms tuck under his body as his hips begin to rock back. “Good, o-oh God, Cougar,” Jensen continues muttering mostly to himself. 

Cougar watches the muscles shift and flex in the pale back as he starts to stab his tongue deeper. Jensen lets a whining moan escape that cuts off. Cougar slides his hand underneath Jensen’s body. He barely needs to wrap his finger around the hard length when Jensen is bucking, riding his hand towards his own orgasm. 

“Wait, w-what?” Jensen slurs, confused but unable to stop himself from climaxing hard. 

Cougar smiles as he sits up to grab the condom from the bedside table. Gently, he kisses the back of Jensen’s neck before pulling at the limp body to get him to roll over again. He doesn’t let Jensen do his monkey-see-monkey-do nonsense as he immediately pushes Jensen’s knees to his chest, once again impressed at how easily said knees fit up into his armpits. Jensen is still panting with glazed eyes as Cougar rolls the condom on and lines his dick up with that wet hole. Jensen is utterly relaxed, but Cougar still thrusts gently, slowly pressing further and further inside as long limbs are wrap around him like an octopus. 

“Fuck, Cougar,” Jensen moans. “Harder.” 

For the first time, they’re face to face as Cougar shifts to get deeper inside. Their eyes meet, but the intensity there has Cougar deflecting, leaning his forehead down to a muscular shoulder. Jensen kisses the side of his face, lips wet as his breath stirs dark hair. Jensen’s arms are tight, not letting Cougar break away so he curls his own hands underneath Jensen’s neck in order to get leverage to thrust harder. 

Cougar can’t suppress his own noises as he gets closer to his own orgasm. He can feel Jensen’s still hard cock between them as well, but he’s surprised when the other man goes stiff. Their bodies slide slickly as Cougar loses his rhythm, cumming hard into the spasming body beneath him. 

Finally, Jensen’s arms relax enough that Cougar can sit up again, pulling out carefully while holding onto the condom. He rolls to the other side of the bed, sitting on the edge as he removes the condom and considers where he put the trashcan and if he should get a washcloth for Jensen. Standing, he glances back to see Jensen is turning away, rolling to the other side of the bed. For a moment, Jensen curls up tight, like he’s comforting himself in that bed, all alone, as alone as the man must have been for most of his life. As alone as Cougar has made himself these last years. 

Then Jensen is rolling to sit up. “I can walk back to the base now, no problem,” he says, his back to Cougar and head bowed. 

But for a spy, Jensen is a terrible liar. He drops the condom to the ground and gets back on the bed. “Jensen,” he says as he lies down on his back. He knows that he doesn’t need to say anything more as those blue eyes turn to look down on him. 

Immediately, Jensen is crawling back over him, snuggling in so that all of his limbs trap the smaller man to the bed. Long fingers clench too tightly on Cougar’s flesh, like he’s a safety blanket that might be stolen away. Cougar exhales a long breath, stirring the bangs on a pale forehead. He knows that Jensen needs someone. But Cougar needs more than to be needed. 


	5. Chapter 5

When the alarm sounds in the morning, Cougar startles like he’s being electrocuted. He’s so unused to waking up with the heat of another body in bed with him, a large heavy arm holding him down. Instinctively, Cougar tenses, but Jensen only rubs his bristly chin on Cougar’s arm. 

“Work,” Cougar says in explanation, but he doesn’t push off that heavy arm as he turns on his side to reach the alarm clock. Jensen curls against his back, lips trailing slowly over the curve of his shoulder. He doesn’t want to smile, but it does feel good. He can feel the length of Jensen’s naked skin against his own, warm and smooth. 

He actually considers staying in bed awhile. In years of one night stands, he’s practiced at compartmentalizing, suppressing any emotions or desires not related to the mission. The military is his only love, the only one that will have him. He’s also practiced in sneaking out so he easily slides out of Jensen’s grip and reaches for his boxers. “Get dressed,” he says as he heads to the bathroom. He doesn’t look back. 

Freshly showered and shaved, he comes back into his bedroom to see a clothed Jensen literally sniffing the dirty sheets. Stunned, Cougar stops in the doorway, his hand in his wet hair. But his surprise lasts a second. He must be getting used to the weirdness as he walks forward to grab his hat off the dresser. Jensen, however, blushes and stumbles as he moves away from the bed. 

“Sorry,” Jensen apologizes. “You just smell so good.”

The statement has more of an impact on Cougar than the weirdness of the sniffing. It makes Jensen seem devoted to him, which is ridiculous. He pushes the thoughts away. “We’ll stop at your apartment for fresh clothes.”

Jensen’s eyes widen in fear and he starts talking too fast. “That’s not necessary, really. I’ve got...a couple changes of clothes at the base. It’s fine. You wouldn’t want to be late, would you? Clay might get mad.”

It’s easy to tell that Jensen is hiding something. Cougar begins cursing in Spanish. He feels betrayed, again. How could he have trusted this  _ thing _ that has known nothing but lies? He remembers what Jensen said when he killed that scientist. Jensen was raised to betray them. 

Jensen’s big blue eyes widen in surprise and he holds up his hands in the universal gesture of surrender. “Ok, ok, I’ve been staying on base,” the lab rat defends himself, surprisingly in Spanish. Course, they should have known that the other man would be fluent in several languages. It’s just another reminder that they have no idea what these things are capable of. 

“Why?” Cougar asks, also in Spanish, his voice as hard as iron. 

“Pooch knows!” Jensen cries. “I was with Pooch and we found another transgenic, a woman like me, but she had a kid with her, a little girl.”

Jensen now stands in front of Clay, telling the same story that he just told Cougar. Clay has his arms folded, his face giving nothing away yet. Roque, on the other hand, turns away with disgust. 

“We’re not running a halfway house for these things,” Roque growls at Pooch who stands near the door. 

“I was gonna tell you!” Pooch tries to defend himself. But pretty much everyone is glaring at him at the moment. 

Jensen shakes his head and pleads with Clay. “It’s my fault. I begged him not to turn her in, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything. That kid deserves a life! She needs this more than me so if there can be only one, I’ll leave. I’ll turn myself in. I’ll...soldiers commit suicide all the time. I’ll take care of it. Anything you want.”

Cougar sucks in a breath and moves closer to the taller blonde. But Clay is already shaking his head and rubbing a hand over his tired face. 

“Let’s just take a breath here. No one is going to be dying any time soon,” Clay says, firmly. He takes a moment to look each of them in the eye. “Look, we have a mission.” He has to raise his voice to talk over the groans from the rest of them. “They asked just for Jensen, but I convinced them that we were all healthy enough to accompany him. Apparently, there aren’t a lot of techs as good as he is that can actually go in the field. We will deal with this when we get back.”

Clay waits for them to start to turn away when he throws out, “And no one is going to be keeping any more secrets.”

“It was one day,” Pooch grumbles again, shutting up as Cougar glares at him. 

Cougar is livid, at Pooch, at Jensen, and at himself. Jensen folded immediately upon Cougar’s questioning, clearly not want to keep the secret, but Cougar had already condemned him. How does he learn to trust someone whose experiences are so alien to him? How does he work with someone he doesn’t trust? 

They’re all in a mood as they grab their go bags and head out. The plane ride is strained again. Roque keeps hissing complaints at Pooch while Clay alternately tries to stop him and tries to ignore it. Cougar sits as far away from Jensen, as possible, and keeps his eyes to himself. On a mission, they have to trust Jensen, and he has to trust that Clay made the right call. And he is not going to think of anything that’s not the mission, practicing that compartmentalization that he prides himself on. 

Jensen knows that the others are looking at him with suspicion and dislike. No one wants to sit near him. It’s a new kind of punishment to be ostracized like this, and it's as painful as some that Manticore came up with. He fiddles with in his bag some junk that he packed just in case and tries to keep his chatter to low murmuring. He is well aware that no one wants to hear his nonsense right now. But he also knows that being silent only reminds them that he’s a freak and a spy in their midst. It reminds them that they can’t know or trust him. When he looks down at his hands, he’s startled to realize that he’s made what looks like a dinosaur, like a toy that he saw on the tv meant for children. Embarrassed by his weakness and not wanting to think of Beth at home with her mother, he stuffs the toy back in the bag. 

Upon arrival, they first settle into a nice but small apartment in a capital city somewhere in South America. It’s nicer than their usual digs, but Jensen needs to be close to their target. There’s only one bedroom and it happens to be the room closest to the target’s apartment so that’s where Jensen sets up, though Clay gets the bed. The three other men are forced to find space in the living room. 

From the moment they arrive, Jensen is busy. He starts setting up his laptops and then removes the outlet cover and doing something in the walls, as well. Through it all, he mutters to himself happily. The rest of them, though, are at loose ends. There is nothing for them to do but wait. Considering how volatile things already are, the situation is not ideal, especially since they cannot draw attention to themselves. So they’re forced to stay inside the apartment, basically on top of each other. 

Roque turns on the tv, even though he doesn’t understand Spanish. He doesn’t want to talk to either of them. Cougar sits on the couch and pulls his hat low over his eyes, very carefully keeping his attention towards the tv. It doesn’t persuade Pooch to keep as silent as his comrades, though. 

“So you’re just going to ignore him, now?” Pooch asks Cougar, too agitated to take a seat. 

Cougar does not want to answer, but he doesn’t want this to cause a real rift in the team. Unlike Jensen, his other teammates aren’t used to being ignored. “We are on a mission,” he says, lowly. It’s both an answer and a deflection. There is no room for romance in the military, maybe there’s not any room in Cougar’s life at all. 

“Oh,” Pooch continues sarcastically. He’s determined that he is not going to be the only one in the doghouse today. “So you’re only going to ignore our  _ teammate _ on  _ missions _ ?”

Cougar bares his teeth a bit, but his hiss is too low to be heard. 

“Well, if you don’t want to be near him, then maybe you should stop fucking him,” Pooch says, finally. He desperately wants to storm out with that statement, but there’s nowhere to go. He ends up pacing behind the couch that the other two are sitting on. 

Roque finally gets fed up enough to pipe up. “Nobody should be fucking their teammates,” he says with raised eyebrows. How is this up for discussion?

Pooch snorts and throws his hands up as he comes to stop. “I’m pretty sure rules like that went out with not harboring spies! Or not keeping secrets from the brass about human experiments! Or…”

He doesn’t get to finish as Clay comes in from the bedroom. “Will you shut up? Or would you like to announce our presence to the whole building?” Annoyed, Clay goes to the stocked refrigerator and pulls out a beer. He’s the only one allowed to be seen leaving through the front of the apartment, but he doesn’t trust any of them enough to leave right now. 

Everyone falls silent until there’s only the low murmur of the television. Clay decides that frankly the tech is less obnoxious than the rest of his team at the moment. Reentering the bedroom with his beer can, he watches as Jensen somehow types on two open laptops at the same time. Both screens are scrolling nonstop with numbers and symbols that mean absolutely nothing to Clay. Jensen also has headphones on his head, though only one ear is covered. The tech sneaked a microphone through the outlet into the mark’s apartment. And on top of it all, Jensen is murmuring as if to a lover. 

Clay lies down on top of the bed, settling in. At the moment, Jensen is certainly earning his keep. Unfortunately, it all continues into the night. The lights from the screens and the murmuring and the clicking of keys all continues unabated through the night until Clay cannot take it anymore. Groggy, he stands up from the bed, staring blearily at the seated man, untouched food and water pushed aside on the table. 

Unable to yell at the transgenic, Clay stumbles out into the living room and begins to unroll his sleeping bag on an empty patch of carpet. The mission brief said that this part might take a week or more to get the information. Clay can only hope that some part of Jensen’s genes will speed this up some. 

He wakes up the second morning to Jensen standing above him holding a tablet. As soon as he’s opening his eyes Jensen is talking to him, showing things on the screen, though all Clay hears is a buzz. He’s already learned to tune the younger man out of his hearing. 

“Hold on, hold...on,” Clay groans as he sits up. “Jesus, let me get up. Let me get some coffee and hit the head. Christ.”

As he stumbles to the bathroom, he sees the others are getting up as well. When he comes out, the coffee pot is already humming along. Thank god. He holds his hand up in front of the younger man as he passes by on the way to the small kitchenette. 

Leaning against the counter, he finally addresses Jensen. “Have you slept?”

“No, I found the…” 

Clay interrupts the man’s rambling. “Is this information time sensitive?”

“No,” Jensen answers the new question smoothly. “They have no idea that they’ve been hacked. We can drop in on them anytime we want. I was so smooth…”

“Then go get some sleep,” Clay interrupts again. He’s starting to get the hang of this kid. “Go catch a couple hours of sleep, and the rest of us will have some coffee and get you up for lunch.”

It’s Jensen who stares back at him confused and, miraculously, silent. “To the bedroom with you,” Clay orders and then turns to watch the coffee pot slowly fill. 

By the time that the pot is full and he’s filled a mug, Jensen is gone from the living area. He takes his mug to the couch, leaving the rest of the men to shuffle forward to grab their own mugs. “Get your stuff together, we’ll be moving out,” he tells the rest of them unnecessarily. Pooch shuffles off to the bathroom after slurping his coffee. 

Shrewdly, Clay puts his feet on the coffee table and turns his eyes to his SIC. “Two days. No sleep. Maybe he is worth the extra hassle.”

Roque simply turns on his heel and stalks back to the kitchen, where the banging of pots hopefully precedes an edible breakfast. Roque is actually a decent cook, perhaps because he’s rather particular about what he eats. 

It’s a quiet two hours later when Jensen emerges from the bedroom and disappears into the bathroom. The shower turns on and off, and then Jensen is approaching the dining table with water still dripping from his short hair. He spies the plate with two sandwiches with interest. 

“Eat,” Clay orders, and then takes advantage of the continued silence. “Our transport will be here in a few hours. I imagine you’ve found where the weapons are hiding?”

“Of course,” Jensen says with his mouth still full. “I’ve traced the money, but haven’t done anything until we get to the weapons.” He wipes one hand on his pants and pulls the tablet to him across the table. “I’ve pulled up some satellite images of the compound. It’s in the jungle, of course,” he says sarcastically. “We should be there for the next weapon delivery.”

They’re ready to go within an hour, most of the team sneaking out one by one. It’s a bumpy journey of a couple hours in the Hummer before they have to abandon their ride. By then, they only have an hour left of daylight in which to begin their hike before they make camp. 

Jensen plops down immediately with their excess bags. He’s chosen a place where the roots of a tree have broken from the earth and he sets about using them like a desk for all of his equipment. He busily pulls up the newest satellite images and chatters about them to Clay, but isn’t surprised or seemingly offended when everyone ignores him. Roque grabs his bag that the tech was carrying and moves away, seating himself against another tree. They all sit down, making themselves comfortable and it’s only afterwards that they realize they’ve arranged themselves in a group with only Jensen on the outside. Cougar dips his head at the implications. They can’t work as a team like this, and, moreover, he hates that it reminds him of that place. It reminds him too much of those white coated men who treated Jensen as nothing more than a piece of machinery. But what can he do? This isn’t some schoolyard bully that he can stand up to. 

“Beef Stroganoff,” Jensen reads his MRE packet. “I’ve never had beef stroganoff, mmm. It’s pretty good. Is this what it usually tastes like? Did you know that it was invented by a French chef, not Russian?”

The rest of them are simply ignoring the chatter. Until something goes flying across the group. Cougar’s reflexes are just good enough that he catches the small packet before it hits him in the face. 

“M&Ms,” Jensen says before Cougar even has a change to look. “Candy, right? It’s chocolate like the other one. Seems to be pretty popular since I saw lots of commercials for them when I was at Clay’s.”

Cougar is stunned, constantly stunned by this man’s generosity. Cougar has no doubt that Jensen would give him his food, his clothing, his last sip of water even if Jensen were dying of thirst. But in a way, it’s almost more poignant that Jensen doesn’t just give Cougar what he needs for survival; he gives Cougar pleasure. Neither of them need a bit of chocolate with their meal, and, in fact, Cougar’s MRE contained the same small packet. But Jensen would forgo even the small treat so that Cougar might have the pleasure, instead. 

But Roque has finally decided to go straight to the source of his frustration. “Can’t you just leave him alone?” he growls. He can see Pooch getting ready to defend the inhuman thing so he preempts him. “This isn’t a love story. He’s just attached himself to the first dick that was nice to him. Like a dog, he doesn’t know any better.”

Cougar drops his eyes to his lap, chastened by hearing his fears spoken aloud by his teammate. But Pooch will not be silenced. 

“He sacrificed himself for us,” Pooch whisper yells. “He knew what those sick doctors would do to him and he saved us anyway. He should get a little goddamned respect, I think.”

Cougar looks up then. Jensen’s face is turned away. What expression Cougar can see doesn’t tell him anything about what the man is thinking. But he remembers. He remembers the way that Jensen responded to Clay’s voice after whatever procedure he was subjected to by those doctors. That was instinctual. Jensen could leave them at any time, as he could have had any man in that club the other night. But loyalty like Jensen’s can’t be bought. 

His thoughts are derailed when Clay speaks up. “Shut it. Finish your meals, then Jensen has first watch.”

Jensen leaves his tablets for his watch, but once he wakes up Pooch, he goes back to his seat. He’s only idly looking through satellite images and financial records. Nothing that takes his full attention as Pooch wanders around the perimeter. The others are bunked down a bit further from him so he doesn’t worry too much about disturbing them. It’s clear that he doesn’t really fit in with the team. Maybe it’s time to admit that he doesn’t know how to live outside of Manticore. After dreaming of freedom his whole life, it feels like he achieved it too late. Whatever is wrong with him is clearly irreparable. 

It’s fine, though. He tells himself that it doesn’t matter because, at least, he will die on his own terms. And he knows that the others are free, that the kids like Beth have a chance. Beth is probably better off without him anyway. He’s just a weapon, and he will protect her and the Losers until he can’t anymore. It’s fine. 

He realizes that he’s been unconsciously assembling the random pieces in his bag into a toy again. But this time, he decides to indulge. He adds a few more pieces, making it look more like Godzilla with tiny arms. “I bet Beth would like you,” he finds himself saying out loud. 

He looks around briefly, but no one has stirred because of the sound. So he moves the tiny arms and continues, “We could build a tiny Tokyo and then knock it all down. Rawr,” he growls and bumps the toy against the tree root. “No, don’t destroy Tokyo,” he pleads in a small voice.

Pooch looks over to see Jensen lit by the pale blue electronic light. He can see that Jensen is playing with some kind of toy, moving it’s arms and legs like he’s a huge child playing with a stuffed animal. It’s fucking depressing, knowing that Jensen never played with toys as a kid, never had any friends or anyone to talk to. And now, look at him. He still has no one to talk to so that his only freedom is to talk to homemade toys. 

When Pooch is waking up Cougar for his turn, he makes it clear that he’s still annoyed by how the sniper is treating their newest member. Cougar wakes up easily as a seasoned soldier and is immediately annoyed at how Pooch is still in his business. But his anonymity is already gone, he has to admit. He hates the idea of everyone knowing and discussing his behavior. But as he makes another circuit of their campsite, he admits to himself that he also doesn’t really know what to do. How does he balance Jensen as his teammate and his lover? How does he even have a lover that lasts more than one night? Ever since he admitted to himself that he was more interested in boys, he assumed that he would never have a real relationship. His years in the military only made him more unsuited for romance. But now, here is a man who could understand his life in the military and his team is apparently willing to allow it. 

Once he’s woken Roque for his turn, Cougar makes a decision and walks over to where Jensen has created a technological nest. Of course, Jensen hears him coming and starts removing some of the junk from a root so that Cougar can sit on it and lean against the tree trunk. 

“Cougs!” Jensen exclaims, smiling up at him with bright eyes. “I was just looking at this schematic, and everything looks great for intercepting the next weapons transfer, don’t worry; but I was looking at…”

Jensen goes on about geography and history and who-knows-what, and Cougar can hear in his voice the difference from before when he was talking to himself. Jensen is clearly excited just to have this scrap of Cougar’s attention. Could it really be this easy? Cougar imagines that no one would be able to tell that they’re having a conversation, much less that they’re together. But then he remembers that Jensen has no more idea of how to do this than he himself does. Jensen doesn’t know to expect anything more from him, is just utterly grateful for anything. It still burns Cougar’s chest, but, at the same time, it’s perfect. So he settles more comfortably against his tree branch and gives Jensen his full attention. 

Jensen notices the change and goes silent. Cougar’s eyes narrow just as blue eyes lift to meet his. “I know that I should have told you, should have told Clay immediately,” Jensen starts. “But Pooch said, and I didn’t want to disappoint him…” Jensen trails off. 

Cougar understands, his suspicions confirmed. Jensen was literally caught between his loyalties to this teammates. He looks down and then looks back up. Jensen nods like he just spoke. 

But then Jensen continues as if it’s settled. “Besides I think Jess is gonna need some help, you know, with Beth. Beth is her kid; I named them.”

Jensen looks up at him again and smiles even little wider to see the crinkles around Cougar’s eyes that give him away. “I mean, I don’t think that Jess really knows how to be normal. She hasn’t even bought any toys for Beth or one of those little prison beds that I saw on tv or…”

“You mean a crib?” Pooch joins the conversation, pushing aside junk so he can sit down. “You know, maybe Jolene could help,” he hesitantly offers. “She’s always in those baby stores buying stuff for her sister’s kids.”

“Really?” Jensen looks up at him with his wide puppy-dog eyes. “Jolene’s great. Of course, she would know everything about babies.”

Jensen looks down at the stupid toy in his hands. Yeah, Jolene will do a much better job than he could. What does he know anyway? And he’s made sure that Jess will get everything if he dies in service. He’s done everything that he can for her.

Cougar notices the change in attitude around Jensen despite the younger man’s words. There’s always a bit of melancholy in there, but now there’s a sense of resignation that he’s seen in soldiers before. His breath catches in his throat, not making a sound but only disrupting the rhythm. Jensen, of course, hears the change and smiles up at him. 

Cougar hasn’t even decided if he wants to ask Jensen about it when Clay comes over to interrupt them. “Pack up,” he orders. “Let’s get on the road to intercept this truck.”

Pooch and Cougar move away, leaving Jensen scrambling to gather his things while chattering to Clay even as the Lt Colonel walks away. He chatters about the latest satellite feeds and god only knows what else, not seeming to notice that no one is listening to him. Clay wonders briefly how he will know when the man is saying something important. He supposes they’ll get used to each other.


	6. Chapter 6

After hiking a couple hours, they’re all lying on their bellies in the grass as they wait for a truck full of guns. Jensen can’t quite manage to be quiet even if they’re meant to be hiding. Fortunately, Clay made sure that he’s across the road from their talkative tech. 

Roque and Cougar aren’t so lucky. “Shut up,” Roque growls, half-heartedly. Cougar can hear that their SIC is becoming resigned to the quirks of their new teammate. 

“They’re not here yet,” Jensen defends himself. “I’ll know when they get close.”

“We’re trying to hide and we can’t do that if they can hear you from a mile away,” Roque persists. 

“I can hear a truck before they can hear us,” Jensen continues. 

Cougar rolls his eyes, wishing that one of them would just give in but they’re both stubborn as donkeys. He tunes both voices out as the conversation diverges until each man is holding a conversation only with himself. 

“They’re coming,” Jensen says, suddenly in a whisper. 

“That’s what I’ve been trying to say,” Roque yells at him. 

“Shh,” Jensen shushes the big man before he pops up from the grass. The transgenic is silent for a whole minute as Jensen leaps at the passing truck, moving at super-speed to wrench open the passenger door and yank the man out. 

Roque takes care of the man that falls out of the truck’s cab while the others jump onto the truck bed, taking out the other guards there. The truck comes to an abrupt stop as Jensen finishes off the driver. Pooch jogs up, opening the door and shooing Jensen out of the driver’s seat. Clay hops in the passenger side, leaving the other three to ride in the back with the illegal weapons. 

“Ooh, look a crossbow,” Jensen says, rooting around the weapons, leaving Roque sputtering with annoyance as the talking starts up once more. 

But even Jensen has to be quiet as they approach the compound. They all keep their heads down as they pass by the guard towers heading inside, waiting with baited breath as the doors close behind the truck. Then the firing starts. Cougar stays in the back of the truck, concentrating his fire on the guard towers while the others scatter. The element of surprise is on their side, but still Roque gets caught out in the open. This time Jensen relishes the opportunity to use his abilities, racing over to his teammate. The bullet embeds in the back of his vest as he pushes Roque out of the way. They huddle together behind the wall of a shed, Roque cursing and Jensen whooping in excitement. 

“Was that good for you?” Jensen teases the other man, feeling a pride in his genetic modifications that he’s never known. “Secret experiment good? I’m like a ninja but with way better taste in clothes...”

“X-5!” a voice interrupts his revelry. “Come on out! We know what you are.”

There’s utter silence in the compound. In that silence, Jensen can hear that there are two people out there plus the five Losers. There isn’t another person left alive in the compound. 

Jensen doesn’t look at Roque or Clay or any of them before he steps out from his shelter. His rifle is held loosely at his side, almost forgotten about as he looks at the man and woman facing him. He doesn’t know them, exactly. 

‘We recognize our own!” the man calls out. “Looks like you’re finally fulfilling Manticore’s vision of the perfect soldier.”

Cougar can see Jensen bristle at the comment as he watches from his perch on top of the truck’s cab. The three are similar but not identical, all with full lips and chiseled features, tall and strong. 

“We finally have freedom and you want to be just another dog,” the female transgenic says. 

“We should be together,” the man chimes in. “We should make our own army. We’re better than them!”  
Jensen has been worryingly quiet through this, but in that silence, Cougar realizes that he’s not actually worried about Jensen betraying them. Jensen is utterly devoted to them as if they are _family_. The man isn’t just a super-soldier searching for the best team. 

Jensen finally pipes up with a quip, “This isn’t Animal Planet. We don’t need to eat them to survive. There’s actually lots of evidence that Neanderthals and Homo sapiens interbred and didn’t…”

As usual, the talkative transgenic doesn’t get to finish his lecture as the two charge him as one. Cougar watches the fight intently through his rifle scope at first, but it’s very clear that he will not be able to intervene with a well-placed shot. The three of them move so fast that he cannot tell one from the other. He knows one thing, though; it’s two against one. Abandoning his precious rifle on the roof of the truck cab, he hops down to where the rest of the Losers have similarly abandoned their hiding places. Cougar pulls his handgun, even though he feels that it’s pointless. He just feels more in control with it in his hand. 

“Fuck,” Clay curses, pointlessly. “If these things have been picked up by cartels and terrorists and god-knows who else out there…” He trails off. If their enemies have transgenics, then they need Jensen to just even the playing field. But right now, it looks like Jensen may not last through today. And without Jensen, the rest of them are basically sitting ducks. 

Pooch has his gun up, following the action like he’s trying to take a shot. “We can’t just leave him at their mercy,” he cries. 

Cougar nods and looks up at Clay for direction. Clay knows that the smart choice would be to run now, to take the truck and get as far away as possible while Jensen holds them off. But he also knows that the Losers don’t run and leave their own behind. 

“Search these other buildings. Maybe we can set a trap,” Clay orders them. 

It doesn’t take them long. Roque finds one of the sheds is full of explosives and he’s only too happy to prime them. Then Pooch fires a few well-placed shots into the dirt to herd the three of them in the direction. Cougar hangs in the doorway of the shed, hoping that Jensen will notice so he can warn the other man. As he stands there, he isn’t expecting Jensen to suddenly crash through the tin metal wall like an armor piercing round. It doesn’t look like Jensen is winning this fight. 

Still, it gives Cougar a moment to lock eyes with his teammate. Conspicuously, he shifts his eyes over to the bombs and the timer that Roque set. Jensen seems to understand, but Cougar has one last request. 

“Live,” he orders, clinging to the doorframe as Roque is shoving him out the door. 

Jensen understands that all he needs to do is keep the other two transgenics busy so that they don’t notice the bombs that are set. That’s pretty easy since they’re both quite busy beating the shit out of him. The sound of the detonator is muffled by the sound of his loud, harsh breathing. Reaching up, he wrenches his fingers into the shirt of the man on top of him. 

The concussive force of the blast hits Jensen hard, bouncing his head off the cement floor, but then he’s being crushed by sheets of the destroyed metal shed as well as pieces of the nearby cement building and parts of a tree. But even as he lays there, trying to breathe past a collapsed lung, he knows that he has to get moving. If he is still breathing, then the other two transgenics are undoubtedly still alive and a threat to his team. With great effort, he rolls over onto his side. The male transgenic is lying beside him, and is lucid enough to be pulling a knife from his belt. Jensen grabs whatever is at hand to hit the other man, knowing that he has to move faster, be better, to protect the Losers. 

The knife cuts his arm, but the block of cement in his hand stuns the other transgenic enough that Jensen can turn the knife around. Jensen throws his weight behind the knife, thrusting it into the man’s vulnerable throat. As the man is still choking on a fountain of blood, Jensen tries to look around for the woman. His eyes are blurry with blood and dust and the effects of the concussive force. The longer it takes to find her, the more desperate he becomes as he drags himself forward, not even knowing which way the door is, or rather was. 

A gunshot suddenly breaks through the ringing in his ears and he flinches, cowering on the ground though he’s not sure why. He’s basically a sitting duck and doesn’t have a hope of hiding himself. He lifts his head to see Cougar standing there with his handgun. His vision is spinning a bit but now he can also see the body of the female transgenic lying on the wreckage. 

“Thansss Coug,” he slurs as he flops over on his back. 

Roque grabs Jensen under his armpits to drag him away from the wreckage and then Cougar’s hands are on Jensen’s face. There’s so much blood that he has no idea where it’s coming from. 

“Mmm,” Jensen purrs, a smile looking incongruous on his beaten face. “Worth it. Worth get...injured if you touch me.”

“No digas eso,” Cougar orders him, hands tightening too hard on the man’s face for a moment. Then he lets go, grabbing at his medic’s bag which suddenly seems very meagre in comparison to the injuries in front of him. Course a regular human probably wouldn’t still be flirting with him with these injuries so he has hope that the transgenic’s anatomy is simply going to shrug this off. 

Jensen lifts up a hand, holding onto his wrist suddenly. For a moment, Cougar thinks that he is reaching out for comfort before Jensen speaks. “Can you...inflate my lung?”

Cougar shakes himself out of his daze. Now that he’s listening, he can clearly hear the wheeze of Jensen’s collapsed lung. Swiftly, he starts removing Jensen’s armor with help from Pooch. “You’re lucky that you still have eyes,” Cougar growls, thinking of the many effects of being that close to such a blast. 

“Can you stand?” Clay asks. “We need to move him to the truck.”

“Sure,” Jensen mumbles. “Course.”

“Idiota,” Cougar grumbles, even as he’s thanking the Virgin Mary that they have a truck and aren’t just hiking out. 

He and Pooch get Jensen up and amazingly, he does manage to walk with help to the truck. It takes all four of them to lift the man onto the back of the truck, though. Pooch is kind enough to think of laying out his sleeping bag on the pile of guns for Jensen to be more comfortable. 

Cougar tightly wraps the knife wound on Jensen’s arm instead of stitching it on account of the bumpy ride. Course, Jensen just rolls with the bumps and absent-mindedly complains. The transgenic shifts awkwardly and bitches, “Is that a...M4 Carbine in my kidney?”

Eventually, Jensen drifts into either sleep or unconsciousness only to be woken when the truck stops. Together, the Losers move the injured man into their military Hummer. 

“You need to clean his face,” Clay orders as they lay the man in the backseat. “If we want to keep him out of medical.”

It’s a statement, but Clay searches Cougar’s face to make certain that the transgenic doesn’t need a hospital to recover. Silence is his answer. “He’ll need to sit up and walk by himself,” Clay tells them unnecessarily. They all know what’s at stake here. 

Cougar doesn’t want to actually ask Jensen who will just shrug off the injuries, telling them what they want to hear. Instead, he gently lifts Jensen’s head so Cougar can slide underneath. Using the antiseptic wipes from his med kit, he begins cleaning Jensen’s face which scrunches up in discomfort at the sting. The blood is everywhere so Cougar has to clean around Jensen’s ears and swipe through the short hair. Dirt fortunately covers most of his clothes, hiding the blood, but Cougar helps him back into the Kevlar vest for additional camouflage. 

With a groan, Jensen sits up and blinks his eyes, trying to wake up more as they approach the base. “How do I look?” he asks Cougar with a grin that shows blood still on his teeth. 

Cougar passes him a water bottle. There’s nothing for it, but to hope for luck. But as the Hummer draws to a stop inside the gates, Jensen’s entire countenance is transformed before he steps outside. Jensen’s personality shines through his slightly swollen and blotchy face. The blue eyes are suddenly alight rather than dim with pain and his face is mobile with flickering expressions, even managing his usual loose-limbed walk. It’s a damn good show, making it hard to imagine that a joking and smiling young man could be gravely injured. Instead, it’s Cougar who can’t hide his feelings, having to stay in the seat a moment so that he doesn’t rush to the injured man’s side. 

“Do you think that we’ll ever see a jaguar?” Jensen jokes to Pooch who walks close by. “I mean, we spend all our time in the jungle, you would think that, eventually, we would actually get to see something cool.”

No one stops them on their way to the barracks, and even Clay has to admit that he’s impressed. He realizes now how that babbling mouth stopped Clay from looking deeper at the inconsistencies in Jensen’s stories. The younger man seems so open and naive, not at all how Clay would imagine a liar, a spy, a supersoldier. He’d expect a transgenic to be like Cougar, actually. It’s such good camouflage that he’s surprised as Jensen seems to collapse crossing the threshold of their rooms. He hesitates, only watching stupidly as Jensen’s posture seems to crumple, reaching out for the nearest object, the back of a chair to steady himself. Pooch gets there first, swinging Jensen’s arm over his shoulder so that he can support the taller man’s weight. 

“Alright, it’s to bed with you,” Pooch says. He begins walking with Jensen like a scarf draped over him. 

Clay even helps, pulling back the covers on the bed that Jensen claimed. He knows that once again they wouldn’t be alive if not for the transgenic. For once, Roque was right. 

Cougar kneels down to remove the injured man’s boots as Pooch helps Jensen to sit on the bed. And then Roque is there with some extra pain pills that he didn’t take for his last injury. 

“No, I don’t…” Jensen tries to wave the pills away, but Roque is still just as stubborn. Wanting only to sleep, Jensen gives in and swallows them. But still they won’t let him sleep. They pull off his vest again while Cougar gets out his suture kit. 

Slowly the others finish their tasks and leave, not commenting when Cougar doesn’t join them. Relieved, Cougar takes a seat on the edge of the bed. Jensen injured is as irresistible to him as Jensen naked. Taking care of the other man like this, it’s easy to run on instincts, to triage, to comfort. Looking down at the other man lying on the bed, he sees Jensen humming to himself, probably because of the drugs kicking in. It’s easy for Cougar to reach his hand out to touch, knowing that he’ll never be judged or rejected by this man. 

Jensen shifts, pressing his head back into the pillow in discomfort, exposing his throat. “Please,” Jensen tries, swallowing around the nausea. “Cuddle with me?”

Cougar nods, and does actually push their two cots together as Jensen wished so many times. It makes him sigh happily as he finally  _ finally _ closes his eyes. Cougar admits that he is tired too as he kicks off his boots and lies down. Even falling in the crack between the two beds is not enough to stop him from falling asleep. 

But when Cougar wakes in the morning, Jensen is still sleeping beside him. Injuries seem to be the only time that Jensen does sleep, almost like he’s recharging his batteries, Cougar thinks to himself. The transgenic’s swollen face has blossomed into bruises, but not the normal black. Overnight, the bruises have gone past black into purple and green. It’s incredible and he automatically reaches a hand to gently stroke over Jensen’s bruised forehead. He doesn’t know what expression is still on his face as Jensen opens his eyes and looks up at him, but Jensen’s eyes crinkle in happiness. 

“Worth it,” Jensen murmurs, leaning his face into the hand like a cat. 

Cougar only clucks at him in admonishment this time. He vaguely wonders if the others really don’t mind them being together like this on base or if it’s only because of how Jensen saved them. He supposes that they will all just have to stumble along and figure things out. 

“Ugh, I feel gross,” Jensen grumbles. His hand rubs along Cougar’s thigh. “Wanna help me in the shower?”

Cougar mock scowls. “I will help you to the shower,” he says. He is not willing to make himself a total spectacle yet. 

Jensen is stiff as Cougar helps him to sit up. Cougar can’t resist pulling up the protesting man’s shirt to view the damage painted in vivid colors on pale skin. Jensen trembles minutely, but mumbles that he’s fine. A cursory examination proves that his ribs aren’t in danger of puncturing anything, though one shoulder is quite swollen like the clavicle might have been broken. It’s possible that broken bones may be already healing, but Cougar is afraid to ask. Jensen may not even know all of the modifications that have been done to him. 

Cougar waits just outside the bathroom door, afraid to look over and see the judgment of his teammates. 

“How is he?” Pooch asks. 

At the same time, Roque asks, “Can he travel?”

Cougar considers the questions carefully. While he has a medic’s knowledge, no one really knows how Jensen’s body has responded to the concussive effects of the blast. There’s no way to know without actual tests and scans. “Better than yesterday,” he responds noncommittally. 

Clay nods. Just then the shower cuts off, Jensen’s infamously short showers only slightly longer on account of injuries. The man comes out looking refreshed, the hot water clearly having worked some magic on tense muscles. 

Immediately, Jensen says, “I’m ready. We can go whenever. Don’t wait on me, you guys.”

Clay turns his gaze to Cougar who slowly nods in agreement. He doesn’t think Jensen would be so stupid as to actually endanger himself, not if he believes they need him. But they will need an excuse if they miss their transport today. Instead, they get their gear and head to the plane. Again, Cougar can clearly see the difference in Jensen’s walk as soon as they get outside their barracks, his limp becoming utterly nonexistent. This time instead of reminding Cougar that Jensen was raised a spy, it shows them that Jensen didn’t put on a show for them, not for the Losers. 

Pooch buckles his seatbelt and says, “I’ll call Jolene when we land. We’ll plan a time for the baby stuff,” he offers. 

Roque pipes up from Jensen’s other side. “Jolene hasn’t gotten rid of you yet?” he teases, slapping Jensen’s chest lightly to include the transgenic. “Maybe I should come with, just to show her what she’s missing.”

Clay watches their interaction from across the aisle. No one has thanked Jensen, but Clay wouldn’t expect them to. This easy camaraderie is much more genuine sign that they’re finally becoming a team. Out of the corner of his eyes, Clay looks at Cougar. He can tell that the sniper is also watching. He hopes that’s how it stays. He doesn’t need two team members joined at the hip, but Jensen could use someone watching out for him. And if they’re not alone at night, that doesn’t bother him none. Best of all, Jensen is out of his hair, Clay thinks as Jensen follows Cougar to his car. 

By the time that Jensen is climbing the few stairs up Cougar’s porch, he’s tired and pained. He relishes the fact that he doesn’t have to pretend around the other Losers, not about his past or his abilities or even his thoughts. So he lets himself hunch a little, limp a little as he goes up the stairs. 

Once he’s at the top, though, waiting for Cougar to unlock the door, he’s not entirely sure what will happen from here. Is Cougar acting as his jailer tonight or as a lover again? A caretaker? Nervous, he starts talking as he walks through the front door. “Hey, how long have you been in this neighborhood? Have you ever thought about installing motion sensor lights? I was thinking…”

Cougar thinks that even Jensen’s motormouth seems slow and tired. “Let’s go to sleep,” he says and waves a hand toward the bedroom. 

Jensen grins a little, thinking that being invited to the bedroom answer his question. He’s tired and bruised, but maybe he can lie on his belly again while Cougar fucks him. Heading directly to the bed, he gingerly pulls off his tshirt when he feels hands pulling at the waistband of his pants, undoing the button. He grins as he throws the tshirt onto a nearby chair. Cougar pulls his cargo pants down and then guides him onto the bed. Jensen sighs at the relief from his weight off of his swollen knee. His boots are pulled off and then his pants as delicate hands push him further onto the bed. 

Cougar knows what Jensen is expecting. Both of them have far more experience with sex than with simple affection. And he can’t say that he’s not flattered at the blatant appreciation in those blue eyes as he undresses. His hat he places on the bland dresser and then he pulls off his plaid overshirt and then his tshirt. He slowly walks to the bed before dropping pants and boxers. Jensen tries to sit up, but Cougar gently pushes him back down and then climbs atop the other man. Blue eyes gleam with desire as Cougar leans down to kiss not the luscious lips but the bruised forehead and then the corner of his eye. 

Cougar shifts his weight to lie down on Jensen’s other side. Predictably, Jensen turns towards him immediately, but Cougar pulls the bigger man down to lie with him with a hand around Jensen’s neck. 

“Sleep,” Cougar murmurs. “And cuddle,” he says that annoying word which seems to be Jensen’s favorite thing. 

Still, Jensen seems a little confused, suspicious. “Come on,” he says, pressing closer and swiping his hand down Cougar’s naked side. “I’m not that injured.”

“Tonto,” Cougar calls the other man fool in Spanish. He pulls Jensen’s head down to his shoulder and then pets the soft hair, feeling stupid. 

But Jensen doesn’t judge him for his awkwardness. The Transgenic responds readily to the touch, curling closer to get more and letting out a satisfied whuff of a sigh against Cougar’s throat. Again, Cougar is hit with the thought that it cannot be so easy. All of his worries and fears could not have been over so little a thing. It is easy to touch, easy to smooth his hand from the base of Jensen’s skull over the smooth skin of Jensen’s back. They fall asleep easily and when Cougar wakes in the night, feeling a little smothered, he easily turns over and Jensen follows. 

This time when Cougar wakes, Jensen has clearly been up for some time. Cougar awakes to long fingers drawing incomprehensible symbols on his bare skin. Through slitted eyes, Cougar watches the other man’s expression. Jensen is smiling softly to himself as he looks down at the caramel covered skin his fingers touch. 

Cougar turns on his back, feeling a bit smothered, but Jensen lets him go and simply smiles at him. 

“You really don’t need sleep?” Cougar asks, voice raspy from sleep. The words come out a little accusatory. 

Jensen pulls his arms underneath his chin, unconsciously defensive Cougar thinks. “I need sleep, just not as much as you.”

“You don’t need to stay in bed,” Cougar says gruffly. “You can get up and watch tv or use your laptop. Whatever you wish,” Cougar says. It is a kindness for himself as much as Jensen. A little breathing room as he navigates this intense relationship wouldn’t be amiss.   
“Of course. And I won’t leave without your permission,” Jensen says with a small smile. 

“You don’t need my permission,” Cougar retorts. Then he sobers. “Jensen, you are free. You are free to leave for good if you wish. I will not cage you as you have been.”

Jensen has absolutely stopped breathing at his words. Cougar doesn’t want Jensen to misunderstand. “But I hope you will stay.”

Jensen snorts and lays back, saying with a cheeky grin, “Oh, I’ll stay. I mean, what would you guys do without me? Clay can barely get on the internet.” And just like that, Cougar’s overwhelming feelings recede to more manageable levels. 

Cougar gets up, heading to the bathroom with the sound of Jensen’s chattering filling the space of his once quiet home. Afterwards, he heads directly to the kitchen. He’s beating a bowl of eggs, enough for two people when Jensen enters the room. 

“What are you doing?” Jensen asks. 

Cougar stops his original sarcastic comeback as he remembers that Jensen does not, in fact, know such simple things. “Cooking breakfast,” he says mildly. 

“Oh,” Jensen says, moving closer in interest. “I should really learn to do that.”

Cougar nods as he pours the eggs into the hot pan. “Another day,” he responds. Then he looks up into Jensen’s face. The bruises already look much better, yellow and green. “If you are hungry,” he says, gesturing to a basket of bananas on the table. He’s certain that Jensen would not think to ask for or take food that was not explicitly given to him. He’ll have to watch that. 

Jensen nods and eats the banana, watching intently as Cougar stirs the eggs and puts bread in the toaster. As soon as his mouth is free, Jensen is chattering on. It’s surprisingly comfortable. The sound of Jensen’s voice replacing the silence that surrounds Cougar when he’s forced to actually come to his apartment. He doesn’t need to listen to the words. The important bits aren’t in the words. 

It’s easy then to hear the change in Jensen’s voice when he moves from chatter to actual conversation. They’ve finished breakfast and are loading the dishwasher when Jensen asks, “We’re meeting Jolene at my apartment?” he asks, needlessly. Jensen heard Pooch as well as Cougar did. Considering his mutations, Jensen undoubtedly heard their teammate better. 

Cougar just waits for Jensen to continue. “Should we call first? What if Jess doesn’t want to see us? I mean I know the plan is that she’s less likely to turn Jolene away, but…”

Cougar knows then that what Jensen needs is reassurance, and his favorite coping method, distraction. “Come, let us take a shower so we are ready to go,” Cougar offers. 

(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*(*

Even under a time limit, showering with the other man feels luxurious. In years of one night stands, he has rarely had the opportunity to explore a lover’s body so thoroughly, much less under the warmth of falling water. But they don’t have all day as they then have to hurry to dress to get on the road. The closer they get to their destination, the faster Jensen talks. It almost makes Cougar smile. 

“What are you smiling at?” Jensen interrupts his musing. 

Cougar side-eyes the other man because he knows that he didn’t smile. “Your eyes crinkle and your breathing slows,” Jensen says. 

Cougar frowns, feeling the way that his skin wrinkles between his eyebrows as Jensen laughs at his confusion. 

Jolene is already there as he pulls up. She hops out of her borrowed giant suburban and rushes over to Jensen. “Oh!” she squeals as she gives him a hug. “This is so nice of you to try and help your sister and buy her some things to get her started! I’m so happy to help.”

She keeps talking as she starts walking purposefully into the apartment building. Cougar is starting to realize why these two became fast friends. Even Jensen is tongue-tied as he tries to keep up walking and talking.

“Uhh,” Jensen stutters, nervously. “I didn’t tell her yet. I figured...I mean, she really wants to leave the cult behind and…”

“You’re so sweet,” Jolene coos over the transgenic’s ramblings. “My brother would forget that I exist if I didn’t bug him to show up for family meals.” She knocks at the apartment door surprising Jensen who didn’t notice that they’d arrived already. 

All Jensen can hear is the thundering of his heart in his ears. “We should have called ahead, wait, let me,” Jensen suddenly sputters as he thinks of how Jess answered the door with a knife last time. But it’s too late as the door is opened only a smidge. “Jess, this is…”

“Jessica!” Jolene butts in, moving so her face is visible through the cracked door. “Hi, I’m a friend of Jensen’s. I just wanted…”

The door suddenly shuts and Jensen’s heart sinks, but then the door opens again, wider this time. Jolene pushes inside immediately once the opportunity presents itself. “Jensen told us about you both getting out of a cult and having to set up a new life. Is that your daughter?”

Jolene immediately bends to scoop the little girl up to her chest. Jensen tenses, worried about the little girl’s possibly violent reaction, but Beth is looking up at the new woman curiously. 

“Yeah,” Jensen butts in. “I told Jolene that we grew up in a cult and that’s why we aren’t familiar with a lot of things, especially baby things,” he tells her, his eyes conveying a more significant message. “We thought that we could all go shopping today, for clothes and a high chair and stuff.”

Jessica’s eyes are narrowed at Jensen, her eyes passing significantly over the healing bruises. But she turns to Jolene with a smile. “That’s very nice of you, but…”

“No buts,” Jolene exclaims and then she’s passing the baby to Jensen so she can grasp the other woman’s shoulders. “Let’s make a day of it. I know how hard it can be to make friends in a new place, much less in a new life.” Jolene begins striding out the front door again, assuming rightly that everyone will follow her. “It’ll be fun.”

Jessica follows, seemingly dragged in her wake, and Jensen shares a look with Beth. “Guess we better follow,” Jensen tells the little girl and then looks over to Cougar. “She’s a real force of nature,” Jensen chatters to the other man as they head down the stairs. 

Jolene is waiting for them by the car, because apparently small children need special seats. After explaining how to put Beth into the seat, she hops in the driver’s seat and spends the trip telling her uninformed audience about the things that all little girls need until even Jensen’s head feels like it is spinning. When they finally park the suburban, they’re at a giant warehouse filled with more choices than the three transgenics have ever been exposed to in their lives. Cougar watches the expressions on the three similar faces with tempered amusement until Jolene takes pity on them. 

“Don’t worry,” she tells the overwhelmed woman. “I’ll break it down for you.”

The two women stride off, trailing the two men behind them. Unfortunately, while Jolene is guiding Jessica through the different sections and offering simple choices for the big purchases, Jensen is running amuck through the toy section. 

“Do you like this?” Jensen asks, pulling out a toy dinosaur. “How about this?”

The little girl seriously considers the two toys before looking at the man holding her. “What is it for?” she asks, clearly very advanced for her age. 

Jensen’s expression gets very tight and he looks at the grey sweatsuit that she still wears. “Listen to me, Beth. You can have toys now, and you can wear colors and eat candy and make friends. You don’t ever have to go back to that cage again. You can take this one home.”

She nods at his words very seriously, but it’s clear that she doesn’t understand that life is very different now. Then she looks around her. “What about that?” she asks, pointing at a giant fuzzy rocking horse. 

“Of course!” Jensen exclaims. 

Jensen is trying to talk her into a fluffy dress when a woman passes by them pushing a baby in a stroller. “Your daughter is very beautiful,” the stranger compliments them. 

“She’s my niece,” Jensen explains happily. And then to Beth, “Say hello.”

Beth hesitates, clearly not used to being able to speak freely, but then she warms up to the idea. “Hello. Hello!” she cries at every other person in the store. 

By the time that they catch up to the two women again, Cougar is carrying the pony, a robot-building kit, and all the brightest colored clothes that the store has to offer. Jessica blinks at them like they’ve lost their minds, but Jolene only laughs a bit. 

“I guess it is the uncle’s job to spoil them!” she says. “Look how much she loves her uncle.”

Jessica gives Jensen a withering look, but it doesn’t touch the childlike joy on both Jensen’s face and the kid’s. Cougar can’t take his eyes off of Jensen dancing around with the little girl, being absolutely ridiculous and adorable as he knocks things over with a plush dinosaur. Jolene arranges for the furniture to be delivered, though Cougar bets that they will be putting the furniture together later. But they have more plans for today.

“Who’s hungry?” Jolene exclaims as soon as they exit the store. She is holding Beth. She’s almost holding the girl hostage, Cougar thinks, in order to get Jessica on board with her plan. “The boys have probably got everything for the cookout ready.”

Cougar thinks that’s dubious at best, but he doesn’t say so. Jensen snorts in his direction like he can read the sniper’s mind. Still they pile back into the suburban and make their way over to Clay’s tiny house where they find the three other Losers in the backyard arguing over the grill. 

“Just let me do it,” Clay is ordering Roque who’s holding the lighter. 

“I thought you wanted nothing to do with this,” Roque mocks his superior. 

“Well, that was until I saw how you were going to ruin it,” Clay bickers. 

Pooch leaves them to it and approaches Jolene for a kiss. “They’re like an old married couple,” Jolene comments, not for the first time. 

Pooch just chuckles and claps Cougar on the back. “Come on, I brought beers.”

Jensen has already trotted off, eager to understand why the game of catch is so popular. He’s certain that Beth will be superior at the game. “Don’t tell me,” Pooch comments. “Jensen bought as many toys for himself as the girl.”

Cougar doesn’t feel the need to answer a question so obvious. He takes a seat in an old camping chair and looks around. He can’t help feeling pretty satisfied with himself. A family, that’s what they are. Funny that it took a human science experiment to get them here. 


End file.
